Wholeness: Unconditioal?

We live in a world that often equates unconditional love with unconditional acceptance. While it may sound great on the surface, it really does potentially open us up to some traumatic things if we make the concept as all-inclusive as the terminology demands. For example, if a person finds out that their spouse is being unfaithful to them, they may still love them unconditionally. However, few would expect them to accept the ongoing betrayal. If a person's spouse is being physically abusive to them, they may still love them unconditionally despite that. Again, unconditional love should not require that they accept the violent treatment without question. If someone is convicted of a terrible crime, they may have parents who still love them unconditionally. This does not mean that the parents have to accept or rationalize their child's crime. If we discover our child is being molested by a family member, we should under no circumstances accept that at all let alone unconditionally.

In the same way, God loves you unconditionally, yet he doesn't necessarily accept everything you do. In the end, because of his love for you, he wants you to be whole again. That means he can't accept anything that is hampering you spiritually, just as a mortal parent will not accept their child's shortsighted, selfish, and immature choices. Granted, our mortal parents can often project their fears and insecurities onto their children when wrangling their kids choices. So mistakes are often made. Meaning we can sometimes project those negative experiences onto God. However, God isn't prone to such shortcomings, so we should always take his discipline seriously, and recognize it as beneficial.

Unconditional love is simply not basing it on performance. Meaning it is not only offered to those who we deem worthy since the lost need loving guidance the most. Being unconditional also means not withdrawing love because of a failure, but rather helping people through the trial. If anything, attaching such conditions to our love has probably left us longing for this unconditional acceptance that has tainted our love.

I hope this puts things into greater perspective. That this notion of blind acceptance often stems from an attitude of expecting the world to change to meet you where you are just so you don't have to change yourself. An attitude of wanting to avoid the growing pains of maturity. An attitude of fear that keeps us from facing the brokenness in our spirit. Such attitudes often stand in the way of real personal progress, and ultimately wholeness. Without wholeness, we cannot achieve complete holiness, and without holiness, we fall short of true spiritual prosperity. The lack of understanding of this point can lead us to find relief in toxic relationships that expect us to accept things that ultimately only damages our wholeness even more. The people who truly love you would never expect you to accept that.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. -Psalm 103:8-12

The Visual PARABLEist

One of the ways the rejection sensitive says I love you. While the concept of rejection sensitivity is easy enough to understand, their behavior is not. While they are capable of being warm and caring when the relationship they are in feels secure. They can turn quite hostile and controlling when they do not feel secure. The irony of this is that they often destroy the very thing they are trying to preserve. While they expect you to accept them unconditionally, they will not offer you the same.