Between Anger and Sadness

In my Mystery of the Heart video, I pointed out how the Bible never uses the word emotions or comments on them in general. Yet, it does mention specific emotions.

With the art for suicide prevention show coming up I find myself thinking about specific feelings. I say that because the theme is always hope, which I approach very cautiously. Speaking from experience pressuring people to put on a happy face for the sake of the comfort of others can be very detrimental for the one being pressured. There is plenty of research to back up this statement as well. So the last thing I want to do is become a source of pressure for the depressed by just telling people to have hope and not showing them the way there.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that believes that examining sadness magnifies sorrow, yet indulging anger releases it. Yet, all the research on the subject says just the opposite. We see this faulty perception perpetuated in the recycled tv plot where somebody is trying to control their temper, only to blow up at the end. Then express great relief after 3 seconds. In reality, this explosion would only open a floodgate of multiple destructive waves. As well as the recurring scene where someone is trying to hit a baseball or get a strike in bowling is told to imagine the target as someone you hate. This actually blunts your edge, not sharpen it. Anger management classes wouldn't need to be a thing if the Hollywood reality were actually true.

Not to mention society routinely criticizes the melancholic. Granted there will always be those people that only want to constantly illicit sympathy, and never move forward. However, this person may actually be a narcissist who is manipulating you into treating them the way they feel entitled to. Such people actually have a high opinion of themselves and are not genuinely sorrowful at all. Some narcissists really do give the depressed a bad name. The truth is, the most effective way to overcome sadness is to face it, not deny or detour around it.

I bring this up because the Bible was way ahead of the curve when it comes to these psychological findings. Even if the church is slow to live by said truths.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires. -James 1:19-20

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, -Ephesians 4:26

We are warmed to not indulge our anger blindly, or even bottle it up. Rather deal with it deliberately. This requires self-examination, instead of just blaming everyone else.

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. -Psalm 126:5-6

See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. -2nd Corinthians 7:11

We are instructed to keep moving forward in our sadness, instead of coming to a standstill as the depressed tend to. As well as take direction from examining our sorrow, instead of ignoring it. Plus, so many of David’s Psalms are such honest expressions of sorrow. So why in the world are we encouraging such utter dishonesty when it comes to sadness? Why do we think we have failed as Christians when we feel sad? If anything scripture paints it as a big part of our growth as people, and ultimately disciples. So why shun a potentially transformative process?

“Boys are taught, sometimes with the best of intentions, to mutate their emotional suffering into anger.” -Andrew Reiner, Towson University

The final years before my brother had taken his own life were earmarked by much anger. Only in hindsight can we see all the sorrow behind all that anger. This worldly advice of shun your sadness, but not your anger did not serve him well at all, if anything it contributed to his death. So I would discourage you from doing the same. Yet more important, don't encourage others to take this faulty path either, no matter how uncomfortable it may make you. Believe me when I say the potential ramifications are far worse.

I myself try to live by the mantra, feelings are not necessarily true nor are they inherently false. So many go to either extreme and for those that do, they always find out the hard way when they get a particular issue backward. Easy to say, but not always easy to live out, especially when the Achilles heel of your spirit is being tripped. Yet it's important to know where they are; it reveals so much about us. It's an important part of self-examination and awareness. Speaking as an artist, it truly is the exciting part of the journey.

Social psychologists have found that the expectation to be happy can cause great pressure (A pressure we often put on ourselves) Great enough that it can cause unhappiness Ironically enough.