Wholeness: love

Love is the most universally sought-after thing in the world. There is nothing else we look to more to make us whole. (Not that I'm saying we should) Yet, the irony of it all, is that this pursuit has also caused more brokenness than anything else as well. So, I dare say our idea of love has gone completely wrong. Specifically, what has gone wrong is how we define it. If you have been in the church for a time you have probably already heard that scripture defines love as an action, not as a feeling. Still, even when we intellectually know this, we still manage to follow our emotions blindly in our relationships at times. Which eventually leads to all the brokenness that I spoke. So let me put this all into perspective for you, so you can fathom just how true the Biblical definition is.

If you define love as an emotion, then it is dependent upon maintaining those feelings. Which makes love as a feeling inherently conditional. If all you are doing is maintaining feelings you are only serving your emotions, and not necessarily the other person. Which would make love as a feeling inherently selfish. If we treat love as an emotion then we feel entitled to express those feelings blindly, even when they make others uncomfortable, or do not reciprocate them at all. So it's no wonder that so many evils that we face every day are done in the name of love. The impatience, the unkindness, the rudeness, the criticism, the stalking, the abuse, the assault, all of it is often rationalized so that we can indulge our feelings and be loved the way we want. If it were really about loving whom we want, we wouldn't allow any of this to happen by our own hands. Not to mention whenever a murder investigation starts, the detectives always look at who the victim was in intimate relationships with first. Ultimately, it's often that level of passion that inspires that much resentment. 

Emotions will always run both ways; sure they may seem wonderful when they are all positive. However, they can be just as ugly when they run negative. So love has to be more than just feelings. You have probably also heard that 1st Corinthians 13 outlines what love does. But have you also heard that this chapter is but part of a broader passage about the spirit? Our habit of constantly uplifting chapter 13 outside its broader context that includes chapters 12 and 14 is a huge disservice to the truth, and part of why our definition of love has gone wrong. Let's face it, emotions can be very fickle erratic, and not always in line with righteousness, but the spirit will always be in line with holiness. It is the spirit that keeps love symbiotic, and not parasitic. It is the spirit that keeps us on the path of God's will and ultimately wholeness. Without the spirit as our guide, we will inevitably end up following the sinful nature of the flesh, which is all about self. There is just no room for selfishness in Godly love. While human love will always be prone to error, keep in mind that as disciples, how we love is vastly important to our Christian walk. It has a trickle-down effect on everything else that we do. If we fail in our love, everything else does as well. Most people's first exposure to the Love of God, is through his followers, make sure it’s reflected accurately.

Not that I'm promoting stoicism as righteousness, such people lack empathy. That doesn't fit into the Biblical definition of love either. I'm just saying our emotions need to be tempered with spirit and truth, as opposed to the opposite extreme. So let me ask you this, does the spirit master your emotions, or do your emotions master you? Are you following true love's path to wholeness, or only indulging your brokenness that only perpetuates more brokenness?

The Visual PARABLEist

In 2010 I did a series of drawings about parasitic love called emotional vampires. As awful as their behavior can be, we must remember that there is a broken person behind it.