Wholeness: Valentine's Day edition

It occurred to me that Valentine's Day brings with it a unique opportunity in my series on Wholeness. I say this for the simple fact that humanity has this tendency to look to romantic relationships for wholeness. A more tangible thing than what we have and will be talking about in this series; hence, the appeal I'm sure. A trend we see in both the church and the secular world. That in itself makes this desire suspect. So I think it's time we take a long hard look at this notion.

I think the average Christian’s rationale in looking to marriage for completion all comes down to this passage.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” -Matthew 19:4-6

In many ways, I think people tend to read way too much into this passage. It specifically says; two shall become one flesh. However, it does not say one soul, one spirit, one mind, one heart, or even one set of emotions, but one flesh. Of all the words, Jesus could have used, he said flesh. Yet, we often try to project these other ideas of one soul or heart into our relationships, and end up judging our partners by this ridiculously impossible standard. Looking to someone else to complete you is in reality a very burdensome expectation to heap upon another. If anything it will more likely break a person than make them whole. It's not something I think we should do to those we claim to love, but often do.

Granted, marriage is meant to be a holy sacrament. Yet, Jesus' choice of words doesn't necessarily imply anything supernatural about it. Considering what scripture says about the flesh in other parts of the Bible, which is seldom positive, tends to bring the notion out the clouds and back down to earth where it belongs. So let's not try to turn marriage into something mystical, simply because we wish it were so.

If anything I think Jesus was warning us to not take marriage lightly. To illustrate just how devastating separation can be to our wholeness, and overall well being.

If you find this post convicting at all, maybe you should apologize to your spouse for trying to expect them to be more God like than they are capable of being. That should be the best Valentine's Day gift ever.

‘’My orphan heart thought love was to complete someone else and to be completed by them. I didn’t understand that when two people who aren’t whole try to complete each other they both end up with less than when they started. I didn’t understand that the only one who can make a person whole is God.”
- Lacey Sturm, The Mystery

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