Why we won't Forgive.

Forgiveness takes Faith & Trust.

The infamous phrase “eye for an eye” found in Exodus 21:23 is often used as an excuse to retaliate instead of forgive. Forgetting it is specific to physical injury. However, another way to put it would be, may the punishment fit the crime. This was their official law back then, not how to be a vigilante. Let’s face it, when we feel wronged we often have an urge to one-up the betrayer. The command was meant to maintain reason in justice and prevent over-punishment of this kind of crime.

Yet with wrongs like theft, the offender was required to pay back double in the case of returned property. Or up to 5 times in the case of property that cannot be returned. (Exodus 22:1-4) This crime is treated differently and meant to teach us consequences and accountability. Let’s face it, loss often cuts deeper than the intrinsic value. The time and energy in dealing with the aftermath is reflected in the punishment. Yet also recognizes that this punishment is not permanent. 

However, these are not typically the areas we take issue with or obsess over when it comes to payback. Rather intangible things that can’t ever be taken back like betrayal, slander, or adultery. These are the negative things we latch onto, that only fill us with said negativity. As Hebrews 12:15 says “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” The implication is that the effects of bitterness can go far and wide beyond the grudge holder. Not that we can’t air our grievances at all. But if they aren’t validated immediately, it’s unlikely that nitpicking the issue will change anything. This is where bitterness starts to take root in our hearts. This is where we need to self-regulate and offer Christ-like grace.

Biblical forgiveness ultimately takes faith and trust in God's judgment and timing. That means letting go of our right to judge. As it says in Proverbs 28:26 “Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.” Other translations use the word delivered instead of kept safe, either way, consider what we are delivered or kept safe from in the case of trusting God with discipline. Is it not our own bitterness?

Biblical forgiveness does not necessarily mean everything is forgotten and OK either. Hence our hesitation in forgiving. Ironically, relentlessly chasing after restitution, even just in thought, means ongoing contact with the offender. This just opens us up to additional pain when they refuse to own their wrongs or are blissfully unaware. Sometimes forgiving without strings is the only way to truly be free of toxic people and situations. Again we must trust in God to handle it.

As it says in Romans 12:17-19 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. We don’t know the other person’s full story, or what kind of wounds lie behind their behavior. Nor do we know what lies on the other side of their mountain. But God does, he knows who can be saved, and what it takes to give them their moment of redemption. That may take time, more time than we may like. Again we must have faith, trust God, and be patient with his timing. When we focus on vengeance, we are only focusing on things that will destroy our hearts. When we take our focus off retaliation, we can put our focus back on what can heal our hearts, God.

Consider Genesis 18:20-21 “Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”” God specifically cites the outcry against them as one of his reasons for destroying Sodom and Gomorrah. While an extreme case, it does show that God will deal with issues when we take it to him rather than deal with it ourselves.

We must remember that we can’t fix other people, especially by counterattacking. But sometimes as believers, our presence can have a positive impact on people. Therein lies the variable of whether to keep hurtful people in our lives or not. Whether the negative impact on us is greater than our positive impact on them. Know your limits. Then focus on dealing with your own limitations, instead of the faults of others. Like any good disciple should. (Matthew 7:1-6)

The Visual PARABLEist

Choices

What we choose has an impact on what we become. Every choice we make has ramifications one way or another.

Genesis 1:26 says “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”” The authority to rule equals the power to choose. It is ultimately God's will that we have a choice. Let’s face it, humanity has not always been responsible with said authority and made many ungodly choices. As Christian philosopher Dallas Willard put it. “The whole history of God and man recounted in the Bible is the story of God wanting to entrust men with his power, and men not being able to handle it.” The questions we should ask ourselves are, why have we not been able to handle it, and what can we learn from those who came before us? So we can make better choices ourselves. For one, we must understand the real issue.

Romans 7:15-25 says “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.”
While making the right choice should be cut and dry, we have a way of making it difficult. Mainly because our own nature will often lead us to defy our better judgment time and time again. We often choose preferences over principle, pride over purity, feelings over facts, sentiment over spirit, the exact opposite when we feel like we are not given a choice, and just about anything else other than faith. The previous passage proves that scripture acknowledges this struggle within our nature. Even when we don’t acknowledge this reality when judging the choices of others that seem so simple from the outside looking in.

1st Corinthians 6:12
““I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.”
While we like to think we are masters of our own choices, in many cases our choices end up mastering us. Especially when our willful choices are short-sighted, made in rebellious spite, and not particularly beneficial in the long term.

Consider what Jesus prayed just before being arrested. Luke 22:39-44

“Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”
Even Jesus, in his flesh state, had to find the will to fulfill the will of God. So how much more will you? The takeaway is, that he has been where you have been. So he wants to be a part of your solution when faced with hard choices; when faced with your “cross.” But remember, Jesus needed help with his cross too. (Luke 23:26)

This leads us to Luke 9:23-25
“Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” The other gospels that quote this close with “forfeit their soul” rather than self. But the Luke version illustrates another struggle we have in making choices. What part of self are we to deny, and what part are we to not lose sight of? Where do we draw the line between losing our life, and saving it? How do we distinguish God's blessings, and the worldly things that distract us? What God created us to be, and what the world broke us into? One thing is for certain, historic discipleship was about being as much like the teacher as possible, what we often refer to as Christ-likeness. Perhaps our struggle lies in that we are too focused on the what, instead of the who. Let’s face it, most don’t choose a cross at all. We choose the treasures of the world.

Just as Matthew 6:19-21 says
““Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” To store up treasures in heaven means to delay the reward, to have faith that it will be worth it in the end. Worth more than what this temporal world offers. Not a popular choice in our instant gratification culture.

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” After a very complex analysis, Solomon gives a seemingly simplistic answer to close his book. That God is the master of our fate. But do we truly understand God or his judgment? As I have said before, holiness is modeled after the very nature of God. To understand his commands is to understand him, and vice versa. However, it is so easy to interject a confirmation bias into our understanding of God. This is where things like emotion, preferences, sentiment, want, tradition, comfort, and convenience distorts our perception of God and his will. How we rationalize our less-than-righteous choices.

In the end, when decisions get hard we need to consider a few basic things as disciples. Does it glorify God and represent his truth? Or does it only serve our own comfort, selfish wants, and desires? As well as, how will my choices affect others? We often forget about that last one. We forget that what we do unto others is done unto God as well. (Matthew 25:40, 45) So we really cannot use God as an excuse to treat people terribly. Yet that choice happens all the time. This is a testament to why we need to act deliberately with our choices, instead of reacting recklessly with them. Clearly, our own nature can lead us to disgrace God in the name of righteousness if we are not careful and weigh our choices carefully. Remember, Jesus was an example-based teacher. Are we living up to that example with our choices?

The Visual PARABLEist

Let's face it, most Christians don't answer the call to take up their cross, because they are too busy taking the road most traveled, that's paved with idols.

Gratitude is not passive

Salvation is a gift from God that’s bestowed by His Grace and Mercy. Our sincere gratitude for this maintains our heart

Ephesians 2:8-10

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— The moment you have to pay for something it’s no longer a gift.

not by works, so that no one can boast. Salvation is something to be thankful for, not prideful over.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” While works have nothing to do with salvation, they do have value in other areas. Since verse 10 is often left out when quoting this, we leave people thinking Christianity is a passive thing. Therein lies the heart of so many issues that the church faces today.

People often counterpoint this next passage with the previous one as a contradiction. Especially if they overlook verse 10. It’s a weak argument That is easily dismissed if you look beyond the mere surface.
James 2:14-26

“What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Faith is not meant to be passive.

Can that faith save him? A battery can save you if placed in the right device during an emergency, but it does you no good if it remains in the package.

If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? This idea of helping the poor is constant throughout scripture, but it is a constantly neglected truth as well. Is this false idea that works have no value to blame for this oversight?

Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself. Like that proverbial flashlight that was made in advance to cast light into dark places. Without batteries, it cannot fulfill its purpose.

But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” Faith is not some abstract concept you just put on a pedestal. That kind of passive faith won’t get you through the hard times.

You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. I dare say you need to be more righteous than demons. (Matthew 5:20, 46-47)

But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless? Even batteries waste away over time on the shelf.

Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up Isaac his son on the altar? Abraham trusted God, even though he did not understand what was being asked of him and why.

You see that faith was working with his works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected; and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness,” and he was called the friend of God. Would we even know who Abraham was if he had not perfected his faith like this? Would he have succeeded here, if he hadn’t failed previously? As I often say, today's success is built upon yesterday's failures.

You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone. Not saved but justified. What would our faith even be in, if we weren’t already saved?

In the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way? Even a harlot can be justified, if she acts in faith.

For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.” Where works without faith are empty and done more for self than God. We don’t buy our salvation through works, we do works because we are saved, and have faith in the one who saved us.

Isaiah 29:13

“The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.”
These words that also happened to be quoted by Jesus himself in Matthew 15:8-9 can be summed up in a single word, sincerity. We can debate the value of works until we are blue in the face, but does any of it change how we show our appreciation towards God. If we truly love God, if we appreciate his Grace, if we are thankful for his salvation, we certainly would want to show it somehow, some way. Sincerity turns commands we must fulfill into a genuine desire.

Gratitude is a big element of worship after all. Thanks to the new covenant, the sacrificial system outlined in Leviticus has been traded out for living sacrifice. As indicated in Romans 12:1. Meaning, it’s just as much about honoring God in our everyday lives, not just scripted rituals.

Works may not earn us salvation. But it shows gratitude towards God, it shows honor towards God, it expresses love towards God, it counts as worship towards God, and it also builds God's church. Again, a devoted disciple shouldn’t have to be commanded to do any of this. If they do, then they need to check their heart, because there is likely a fault in it.

As Romans 1:21 & 22 says “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools” Are you passive in your gratitude towards God's salvation? Consider the ramifications of an ungrateful spirit: Foolishness, a futile mind, and a darkened heart. All from simply being a passive ingrate. 

The Visual PARABLEist

Firm foundation

Truth is the firm foundation on which our heart is rebuilt, but like most foundations, many elements must be properly put into place to make sure it’s strong and long-lasting.

2nd Timothy 3:14-17

“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of,
because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. What makes you wise for salvation? Faith in the scripture that points to Christ. The scriptures that Timothy has engaged in since infancy. He is encouraged to continue in it because that is the first element of our firm foundation. Do you continue in it?

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Scripture trains and equips us for the work we are called for in God’s kingdom. Do you look at it that way, or do you get too focused on rebuking and correcting to notice you must rebuild after the demo?

2nd Peter 1:19-21

“We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. The message can cause the light to rise in our hearts, but we must pay attention to it. Do we look at it with the same awe and wonder as a rising sun?

Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. Most people tend to project their own preferences and biases’ into everything. That’s why a true prophet needs to truly deny self and follow what divine inspiration is leading them to relay. We should follow their example and not sidestep uncomfortable details. Perhaps we should even look at points of confusion as a place to start.

For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.” The origin of scripture is clearly stated here. From God, via the Holy Spirit. This is the second part of our firm foundation. Yet there seems to be a movement within certain sects of the church to view the Bible as the only Godly authority. Openly denying the Holy Spirit. Although scripture itself condemns such actions.

For example, 1st Thessalonians 5:19-22 says “Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.” Apparently quenching the spirit is one of the evils we must reject. Jesus even called it blasphemy of the spirit. Yet we are also reminded to test the messages. That is why we ultimately need the Bible as a ruler to hold the spirits up to. Since the Holy Spirit isn’t the only voice.

Jesus also says in John 14:25-26 ““All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Herein lies the need for the Holy Spirit, how to apply truth, and when. The spirit can’t remind you of what you never read though. Jesus spent a good amount of time correcting the misapplication of scripture, and probably still would if he returned today. [See the sermon on the mount.] Let’s face it, those who quench the spirit tend to have selective memory with scripture. Only lifting up that which makes them look good, and feeds their pride. Which is a sin in and of itself. A sin that the spirit would likely convict them of if they knew him.

John 3:5-8

“Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”” These words spoken to a curious Pharisee lie at the heart of why people resist the Spirit. We don’t like not being able to tell where it comes from or where it is going, and ultimately leading us. We like to feel like we are in control. Doesn’t this statement alone reveal where they are missing the point? Who are we to try and control God. But isn’t that just what we are doing when we are cherry-picking the truths we follow.

Yes, false teachers are misrepresenting the Spirit. But if we know our Bible, we can see right through them. But there are just as many false teachers misrepresenting scripture. They can get away with it because they know most people don’t read their Bibles. But if we have the Holy Spirit, he will instruct us on how to deal with such teachers.

I opened with the foundation analogy. Scripture would be the concrete, whereas the Holy Spirit would be the steel reinforcement. They ultimately work together to create the best possible foundation. You can’t see the steel, but without it, the foundation would crack and crumble very quickly. Just as if we didn’t pour the concrete, we wouldn’t have a stable and level surface to build upon. Make sure you have good subcontractors (ministers) because the home inspector is coming to make sure it’s up to code. (Jesus) So let me ask you this. If your knowledge of scripture, and relationship with the Holy Spirit is proportionate to your foundation, what could be built upon it? A large mansion, or just a tool shed?

The Visual PARABLEist

But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. -Mathew 7:26