What's the matter with church?

Back in May, I did a blog predicting that the pandemic may prove to be a pruning season for the church. Now here I am telling you that my very own church will be closing at the end of September. So I thought in the tradition of the sermon on the mount (Matthew 5 & 6) I would do a post about what I see as the issues threatening the church from within; beyond the obvious things like holiness, finances, and attendance. Jesus’ teaching from the mount was unlike any of his other teachings, for he was challenging people's understanding, and correcting their misinterpretations.

But before I begin, let me be clear this is a general list based on observations of the church universal, not an attempt to condemn my own church. Nor am I claiming this is an exhaustive list.

Not living out the body of Christ model (1st Corinthians 12:12-30)
Scripture reveals that one must follow the Holy Spirit to live this lofty concept out. Where following our human nature only creates the opposite, unity through uniformity. Yet it’s that uniformity that we see more often than Biblical diversity. Let’s face it, sameness is more comfortable, safe, and easier than following the abstractness of the spirit.

Making worship about emotions
Internal conflicts about worship are usually about preference, not principle. Sentiment more than scripture. In the end, people just want to feel good and follow their emotions blindly, as if their feelings are some sort of universal standard. Which is more about worshiping self than God. I dare say the contemporary worship movement magnified this issue to catastrophic levels by confusing emotion for the spirit. (1st Corinthians 2:14)

Wanting to be served, instead of serving (John 13:1-20)
Whenever a church starts talking outreach of any form, some people get cranky. One time I heard someone blatantly say, "The people in the church already need help, why worry about outsiders?" Obviously, they didn't realize that serving others can be good medicine for the spirit. A major point in my Consider what it means to really live YouTube video. My least watched video I may add. People just don't want to reconsider how they are living, since how they live revolves around serving self, and they want to keep it that way. Nobody can be served unless people are serving, and the few who are can get burned out if too many people are only there to take, and not reciprocate.

Lack of spiritual responsibility (Proverbs 2)
We expect Pastors to meet our needs, yet everyone has different needs. There is just no way a minister can be everything to everyone. So they have to teach generally, and maybe address specific issues that they are aware of. Any genuine disciple worth their salt will come face to face with an untruth in their thinking eventually. So a responsible person has to take this challenge head-on, as well as seek out answers for their specific issues themselves. Instead of expecting your minister to take up that cross for you. If all you think you need is to have your feelings gratified, then you will likely dislike what you genuinely need. This can be a sign of a very spiritually immature person.

Lack of self-awareness
A licensed counselor once told me that most of his patients were merely looking for some sort of approval, acceptance, or validation. When one seeks this, it often means adapting to the people around you, so self-awareness is often seen as a deterrent to worldly approval. Yet, Holiness stands in opposition to worldly acceptance since holy literally means, set apart. Still, some people are of the impression that righteousness and conformity walk hand and hand. (Romans 12:2) {Also, how can conformity walk hand in hand with diversity of talent and skill as the body of Christ should be?} Maybe the reason we struggle with holiness so much is that our overwhelming desire for validation is moving us in the wrong direction. Not to mention we can't possibly know our purpose without understanding whom God truly made us to be. Which may be another reason why we are so averse to service, we are at a loss on how we can serve because of a lack of self-awareness. As you can see, this often unspoken issue is tied to many other issues.

Emphasizing the cross more than the resurrection. 

The cross is about forgiveness. Resurrection is about rebuilding a new victorious life with that redemption. Granted, we need both, but so many believers plateau in their faith by getting hung up on keeping their newly clean slate spotless, and never rewriting their story. The new and resurrected life is what delights and inspires people. Not playing ring around the cross as we try to fit our old life into our new faith. (Galatians 5:16, Luke 5:36-39) Yet, embracing resurrection requires self-awareness, and a desire to serve.

You might have noticed that there is one common thread in most of these traits, which is self. (Matthew 16:24-26) It lies at the root of everything that steers the church off track. As well as make us more like the world that we are supposed to be set apart from. I've often said that Christianity, as written, is not a religion that mankind would ever create for itself; yet how we practice it often is. So let me leave you with these questions? Am I confusing preference for principle? Am I confusing emotion for the spirit? Am I confusing self for God? If so, what are you going to do about it? What will happen to the church if we don't wake up to these issues?

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Narcissists in the church

The term narcissist in common usage is often associated with vanity and self-centeredness. However, clinical narcissistic personality disorder goes much deeper than that. A simple layman definition can be summarized with the three E's. A narcissist acts Entitled, are Exploitative, and lack Empathy. Because of a rise in the frequency of this disorder, many blogs and YouTube channels have sprung up in the last decade to assist in dealing with their abuses. So I thought it time to address it myself.

While the average narcissist would never be a part of anything as altruistic as a church, there is a specific type that will. Which would be "the communal narcissist." They will often align themselves with a cause, charity, or religion; but their motivation is not for a greater good. They do it for the praise they receive, and to deceive everyone into believing that they are good people. (Which they are not) While they may technically do some good, albeit for the wrong reasons. They can also do much harm as well. So these stealthy and covert individuals need to be dealt with very strategically. So we will go over ten important things we need to know about the communal narcissists we may encounter in the church.

1. Whitewashed tombs. (Matthew 23:27-28) While they go to great efforts to project an image of perfection. The one person they are trying to convince the most is themselves. Underneath all the bravado, there's a very insecure person with a very fragile ego. So they need as much grace and understanding as anybody. So don't be too quick to boot them out of your church. You never know when you might be able to get through to their heart of stone. So pray diligently for these damaged people.
2. Very dangerous to confront them. They don’t like being vulnerable, so they are very prone to outbursts of rage if you back them into an emotional corner. They may also start to spread gossip about you to discredit anything bad you may say about them if you do so. So it’s best to not let them know you are on to them. It is quite impossible to reason with a narcissist, so you can easily get sucked into an adversarial relationship if you try. If they are truly doing more harm than good, then the safest way to get rid of them is to make sure everyone stops feeding their ego. The narcissist will only associate with people and institutions that stroke their ego. (That person who is always hopping from church to church MAY be a narcissist.) 
3. Know how to fake empathy. As indicated before, a true narcissist has no empathy and doesn't care who they hurt to get their way. So any so-called empathy they seem to be projecting is all an act for the sake of their church persona. Don't be deceived by it.
4. Habitual liars. They will say absolutely anything to maintain their false persona and get what they want out of you. So don’t be surprised if they tell you exactly what you want to hear Sunday, only to deny saying it Monday.
5. Live by double standards. They are hypocrisy personified, and often defame any institution they are connected to because of it.
6. Never admit to a mistake. They will play the hero, or even the victim, but never the one at fault. Even when presented with irrefutable evidence. 
7. Judgmental. They are very critical people, offering lots of unsolicited advice. As well as being very vocal with opinions about people they find inferior. 
8. May seek positions of authority. Narcissists love power, but the only person they are really serving is themselves. They will try to direct everything to revolve around them and their preferences with said authority. If they don’t have an official position yet, they will likely bully those in power with veiled threats. Constantly reminding leaders of their perceived obligations to them. (Congregational type churches that give as much authority to its laity as clergy tend to be more narcissist friendly.)
9. May use their money to influence people. While some narcissists are tightwads but don’t be surprised if they can be quite generous with their offerings. They will make sure everybody knows it too because it’s only done for praise, admiration, and camouflage, not the good of the church. Also, do not be surprised if they suddenly withdraw financial support if they are not getting their way.
10. Steal affirmation from others. If someone else accomplishes something good or is recognized for their deeds, a narcissist will likely try to make it seem like the person in the limelight owes their success to them. If that is not an option they will just plain dismiss and belittle that achievement. A narcissist cannot stand someone getting more attention than them.

Did you notice all the negative church stereotypes on the list? Apparently, this has been an issue far longer than our current heightened awareness of the disorder. All the more reason to address it. Just remember, they are often experienced advisories, so you can be like a sheep facing a wolf. So it's important to remember Christ's words of "be as shrewd as serpents, but innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16) A narcissist can very well be that proverbial mountain that needs to be moved, (Matthew 17:20) so one truly needs divine guidance and strength to make it happen. So I urge you, seek that first if you have a communal narcissist in your church. So, you can maintain your integrity despite them.

It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. -Philippians 1:15-18

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Pruning Season?

I once had a pastor who used to always say, we practice Christianity, not church-inanity. He probably needed to remind himself of this as much as everyone else. I made an Instagram post about this idea recently, asking people to consider that this pandemic may be casting a light on this distinction. However, maybe the corona effect on the church goes even deeper than that.

I say that because many churches are utilizing online worship via social media to maintain social distance, and it is proving to be an unexpected source of outreach. Many guests are tuning in searching for comfort and guidance in these crazy times. People who would not necessarily feel comfortable walking into a brick and mortar church. Churches who are still giving 100% despite the limitations are finding they are reaching far more than they ever did with a traditional face to face service. Where the churches that are submitting to the less than ideal circumstances, and are just doing the bare minimum; they are not seeing these same benefits. There have also been reports of people watching 3-5 services per week. Giving regular churchgoers plenty of opportunities to see what else is out there.

Granted it’s too early to say for sure, but I would have never predicted what has happed several weeks ago. But what I am getting at is that before all this is over, the less enthusiastic churches may end up getting pruned from the vine, so to speak. Allowing the more fruitful parts to thrive all that much more. This may be a hard pill to swallow for some, but it may very well be necessary to get the church universal back on track again. By narrowing our focus, and consolidating our talents towards a common mission once again. So you may want to consider this post a fair warning.

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. -John 15:1-8

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A backwards question.

"With so much evil in the world, how can you believe in a loving God?" I'm sure we've all heard a nonbeliever utter something like that many a time. To me, this is a flimsy excuse for dismissing God. When you get down to it, if you will not put your hope in God the creator, then your only other option is humankind and what it creates. For example, if you put your hope in things like fame, fortune, possessions, comfort, convenience, praise, self, accomplishments, or relationships, it all comes back to mankind and its cultural expectations in one way or another. Yet there is no denying that all the evil in the world originates with selfish people. Specifically when people seek their own good, instead of following the will of God. Or sometimes people trying to misrepresent God for self-serving means. So why are we blaming the one individual who is not responsible for all the evil in the world, only to put our hope in what's actually to blame? To me, the question is backward. It is we the church that should be asking "With all the evil in the world perpetrated by humanity, how can you possibly put your faith in mankind?" The human race is the most unreliable thing on the planet if you ask me.

Granted, God could make all this evil go away if he made us all puppets, but that wouldn't actually mean anything. Nothing we do, good or evil, would have any relevance at all if we did not have freewill. People may like to self-delude themselves through forced submission, but an all-knowing God will not. The strange thing about humanity's relationship with freewill is we all want it for ourselves, but we don't necessarily want others to have it when it's an inconvenience to us. So we expect God to change the world to suit us, yet we ourselves refuse to change. Consider just how much of our energy is spent on trying to take away the freewill of others, just so we don't have to change ourselves. Just another example of how unfair humankind really is.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? -Jeremiah 17:9

A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.-Psalm 33:17

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Can we save without seeking?

A licensed therapist once told me that most of his patients were simply looking for approval, acceptance, or some other form of validation. Not that you have to be a student of psychology to see the reality of that. So the church should be at an advantage, with Jesus offering the ultimate unconditional love. However, that does not seem to be the case much of the time, since so many so-called believers are so conditional with God's love.

All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” -Luke 19:7-10

In Jesus' own words, he came to "to seek and to save the lost." Words uttered in reference to a man who was viewed as a sinner. A man who was a tax collector, a group of people who were perceived as thrives who sided with their oppressors. A man who had no approval, acceptance, or validation from his fellow Hebrews.

Over two-thousand years later, what has changed? While there are a few exceptions, but for the most part most are uncomfortable with seeking and saving the lost as Christ did. We will condemn, criticize, and judge them in a futile attempt to save them. But we will not seek them and get personally invested in order to save the lost. Yet, somehow we rationalize such unloving actions despite it being doctrinally unsound.

If you really want to abuse those you find unworthy, there are other religions that make allowances for that, however, Christianity is not one of them. Not that we need any religion to lead us down the path of human nature's tendency to exclude and hate. So for that reason alone I must dismiss any belief that condones humankind's self-destructive sinful nature, including the shaming of the lost. Such practices cannot be divinely inspired. How can what's considered a symptom of narcissism ever be considered holy after all. No, it's far more likely that the practice originates in the wicked hearts of mankind.

Yes indeed it's in our nature to seek approval, acceptance, and validation from our peers. Yet it's not in our nature to offer it to just anybody. So if we really want to follow the path of the righteous, then one must defy that nature. Not just because we must seek the lost people who make us uncomfortable, but also because our peers will likely judge us for it. Just as Jesus' own people did with him.

I have stated it all very bluntly. If you find yourself convicted by this, I challenge you to ask God to examine your heart, so you will better understand your own failures so that you might be able to repent in a deep and significant way, and not merely in a surface superficial way.

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A kingdom without walls?

Therefore let us go on toward perfection, leaving behind the basic teaching about Christ, and not laying again the foundation: repentance from dead works and faith toward God, instruction about baptisms, laying on of hands, resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. -Hebrews 6:1-2

This passage came to mind while attending a Lenten study called The Walk. I say that because it was rather basic beginner stuff, more like a crawl if you ask me. The author himself even called it foundational; hence, the passage. In a way, I was glad it was cut short because of the quarantine. Yet, where I was unimpressed, it seemed that many others there ate it up. While there is indeed a need for basic foundational teaching for those new to the faith; however, I happen to know most of the people there did not qualify. Many of them have been a part of the church longer than I have been alive. So it seems rather apparent that some two-thousand years later, we are dealing with the same issue that the second generation church was.

Let me start by saying in a way it is proper that this blog comes right after Easter. To quote a friend of mine ”We know that the resurrection changed things, but we need to pay attention to ALL of the ways it should change things…” Dare I say “self” should be at the top of the list of changes.

Christ established a foundation that his church would ultimately build God's kingdom. We honor that by becoming a pillar in his kingdom. (Matthew 16:18) Yet if too many of his followers are content to remain in a safe and familiar place by revisiting the foundation repeatedly, not much of a kingdom will be built upon earth. This would surely explain the church's present situation.

Let's consider the ramifications of this. If one were to remain in the basic truths of forgiveness and salvation, one will not progress with the transformed life that leads to genuine holiness as the passage alludes to. This means we won't likely become missions-minded, which is necessary to expand the church. If we don't challenge ourselves, then we are ill-equipped to answer the hard questions that come up when witnessing. This has absolutely been downright harmful to the growth of the church.

While a true disciple must indeed learn to walk with God, not just crawl. One must remember, we cannot learn to walk without many falls, bumps, and bruises. Which touches on what may be at the heart of the problem. It seems that many in the church play it safe, thinking it’s better to not try than fail. That it’s better to crawl through life, instead of risk stumbling. As if God were so strict that we are required to get everything right the first time. When in Reality the biggest failure a Christian can make is to never try.

An example of the disciples failing to try, and Jesus’ reaction. Matthew 15:10-20

An opportunity for the disciples to redeem themselves. Matthew 16:5-12

Another possible reason is we just don’t want to disrupt our lives as is. Let’s face it dedicating our lives to mission, evangelism, or outreach isn’t always going to be easy. So by remaining in foundational truths, instead of building ourselves up as a disciple, we won’t have to risk inconveniencing ourselves.

No matter the reason, I'm sure it all comes back to one thing, self. We stay in the realm of introductory foundational truths for our own perceived good. This may be true, in the short-term, but in the long term, we are doing ourselves a great disservice. Since the church universal, is suffering for a lack of spiritual maturity, so it's ill-prepared to be there when and how the lost need it to be right now.

So my challenge to you on this day is this. Ask God to examine your heart on this matter, so you can honestly ask yourself these things. Am I acting in faith, or just fear or a desire for comfort. Am I a vital part of the structure of the kingdom of God, or am I a part that’s too weak to bear any load? Am I living the resurrected life, or am I still in the tomb?

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The fast we didn't ask for.

The other day someone told me that they hoped the quarantine would be over before Palm Sunday so that it wouldn't ruin Easter. Understandable, but then again, maybe this pandemic is more serendipitous than we realize. It is the season of Lent after all, which is a time of giving things up. Where we attempt to let go of the physical world so that we may be in a better position to take hold of the spiritual one. Yet because of circumstances, we all find ourselves in where we must go without. Maybe we should not let this moment go to waste, maybe this happened now of all times because God is telling the church that we've gotten far too attached to this world and its comforts. That it is an invitation to seek him in a more intimate way.

if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. -2 Chronicles 7:14

Why do you think some people are panic buying? Is it not because they do not want to endure going without basic comforts and convenience. If you honestly believed that this world is all there was, why wouldn’t you respond in a self-centered way that could be detrimental to others. Yet, since they are all fixated on what they must go without right now, they are condemning themselves to misery, even with their stockpile.

Yet for the believer, I would encourage you to seize the moment and seek what you might have been neglecting within your faith. It is always a good time to grow after all. Even when we don't know our next move, or all else seems to be at a standstill, we can always seek spiritual maturity through prayer and study. So often when we are waiting on God, he is actually waiting on us to seek him.

May I suggest, instead of asking for a quick end to all this. Ask what good can come from it all.

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