Hidden from their eyes

At the tail end of 2020, I did a post called three-dimensional holiness. Then spent all of 2021 blogging about the most neglected dimension, wholeness. Well, recently I saw an Instagram reel revealing something extraordinary and new to me that relates to the subject. So after confirming the facts with a second source, here I am sharing this with you.

I’m sure you have heard of the holy city of Jerusalem. Well, the name is made up of two Hebrew words. The first word is ‘jir•oo’ which can mean ‘will see’ or ‘will feel the awe.’ The second word is ‘sha•lem’ which means wholeness. You may notice this word is similar to Shalom, which means inner peace. Same root word and everything. Inner peace and wholeness are very much related after all. My ultimate point is that Jerusalem literally means, they will see wholeness. Or they will feel the awe of wholeness. I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a bit prophetic. Jesus did end up his earthly ministry in Jerusalem after all. He most certainly showed them the way of wholeness via the gospel. Even if they had felt it as well, they obviously didn’t all receive it or accepted it. Which maybe sheds light on Jesus’ words after being rebuked by the Pharisees upon his triumphal entry.

“As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.”-Luke 19:41-42

The Old Testament is the long sad story of the Jews failing to live up to the standard of righteousness. Yet most were blind to the key they were given that would have allowed them to succeed. This is even more sad. I also find it sad that 2000 years later, most people are ignorant of the role wholeness plays in our ability to live the full truth of the gospel.

If someone severely burnt their hands while working, would you just call them stupid for doing that and tell them to get back to work? No, you treat and bind their wounds in hopes that they may one day be productive again. If the person you were training to run a Marathon broke their leg, would you expect them to run it anyway? No, you give them proper time to recover first, knowing there is always another marathon. Yet we as the church expect people to live righteously without addressing the lack of wholeness in their hearts and spirit. Or just marginalize the concept of righteousness, knowing nobody can live it as we understand it. The lack of wholeness in individual people is leading to a lack of wholeness in the church. The result is, the church is failing to show and instill awe where this broken world truly needs it now.

We live in an age where most Christians only care to learn enough to validate their feelings and assumptions. So I challenge you to look past that, not just for the sake of your soul, but for the sake of the church universal, and the God you supposedly profess.

The Visual PARABLEist

“In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: “ ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.” -Matthew 13:14

“Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”” -Luke 10:23-24

“Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.”” -Luke 11:34-36

Eternal Life Matters

Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. -John 12:25

This is but one of two cases where Jesus talks about hating life. The other is an even harder pill to swallow than this one. (Luke 14:25-27) Over the years I’ve seen many a minister clumsily sidestep the verses. However, maybe it’s time we take a long hard look at it, instead of glossing over it because we don’t like it at face value. In all honesty, the older I get, the more I connect with it. The simple fact is, there are many things I hate about this mortal life, and fail to understand why even Christians put so much hope into it. Just look at the nonbelievers who have no choice but to put all their hope in it, and do so with such zeal. They have some of the most fragile peace I have ever seen.

Not that this means I should hate any associated people, instead of life itself. Yet most do just that because we blame others for the poor outcome of our life since we don’t want to bear the blame or take responsibility ourselves. Why shouldn’t I hate that about this life, and long for something better?

This love-life attitude reeks of coveting and envy, which are NOT Christian virtues, but products of the American dream. No wonder American churches have largely abandoned the subjects. If the church did a better job of understanding the full depths of the truth we profess, we could live out a far better example. Instead, we just define a child-friendly version of the road most taken. This is one of the things that motivates my ministry, to inspire people to look beyond the “be a good boy” gospel that has its share of misplaced worldly idols within it. Yet it’s why many people don’t want to hear what I have to say. Virtual idols are the gods of this mortal life we cherish so much, and they fail us time after time. Why shouldn’t I hate that about this life, and long for something better?

While life, in some respects, can be seen as a gift. However, like so many other gifts of God, if we value them more than the giver, they tend to go very wrong. Which we have a habit of doing since the gifts are far more tangible than the giver. Again, this is the essence of modern idolatry, and a big contributor to most selfish choices. Which leads to actions that hurt others. When we make a habit of that, we invite payback. Yet many are too shortsighted to see the correlation. That we can be the root of our own suffering when we betray others as well as the giver for the sake of the gift. Why shouldn’t I hate that about this life, and long for something better?

Yet in another sense, our mortal life is what separates us from knowing God in his full glory, and the full beauty of his truth, unadulterated by human will, and our limited understanding. Yet, it is only through our mortal lives can we even get a chance to see God. Even Jesus seemed to hate that about his life in the flesh and went off to lonely places to disconnect from it so he may better reconnect with the Father. (Luke 5:16)

“For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” -1st Corinthians 13:9-12

So beyond the bleakness of the extremes, perhaps we can find the real balanced truth of the matter. That our mortal lives are not something to be loved or rejected, but merely seen as a means to an end. At the end of it all there is eternal life. How we live out this drop in the sea of destiny we call our mortal lives, will have much to say about how we experience the fullness of the rest of the ocean. Apart from that, it’s mostly irrelevant and hardly worth all the pride we take in our so-called accomplishments. Makes you wonder why we get so fixated on the microbes found in this tiny drop we are currently in, and put our heavenly glory at risk for such temporal trivialities.

Consider this, Jesus promised peace, not happiness. (John 14:27) Yet the current church, especially contemporary ones, tries to make it all about happiness. It’s so much easier to provoke a feeling than follow the cycle of holiness that leads to peace after all. However, it’s often the obsessive pursuit of happiness and the worldly things we associate with it that robs us of our peace. happiness at best is sporadic with many ups and downs. We could never function in everyday life in such a constant euphoric state. Peace however is a different story. That can last and be maintained for extended periods of time. Yet when we lack it, it often leads us to seek out shortcuts to quick and easy happiness. That often has negative side effects in the long run. We must admit that happiness can in fact be achieved outside of God. That is why it is so short-lived, and prone to crash. Especially when we look to others for happiness. That is actually a huge burden to put on people. This can lead to much misery for those on the wrong end of it. Why shouldn’t I hate that about this life, and long for something better?

If we really believe God’s full truth matters, then I would suggest you take some time to evaluate where you really put your hope. Is it in eternal life, or the temporal things we have in this mortal one? In the end, the only way out of the things we hate is by defying this world and its toxic ways, not by giving in to it. Otherwise, we are just fighting fire with fire. Yet we wonder why the whole world burns with anger. Why shouldn’t I hate that about this life, and long for something better?

I drew this over Lent, as I gave up social media. As previously mentioned, this also cut me off from my online outreach. One unexpected effect was that certain things that didn’t bother me that much, started to bother me. In essence, made me long for things that I did not have in this mortal life. In the absence of what I was “set apart” for, my peace faltered. It is those feelings of lost contentment that I poured into the drawing.

That experience is proof of the Galatians 5:16-17 concept. That it is better to replace bad things with good things, instead of just suppressing and leaving a void that leaves us vulnerable. (Luke 11:24-26) So often we can’t take hold of better things, because we fear the loss of letting go of the old, the tangible, and the familiar. We will never know the peace that transcends understanding, that leads to eternal life that way.

The Visual PARABLEist  

“Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” -John 17:3

Even Rocks Can Break

“Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”” -Matthew 16:17-19

In this passage, Jesus blesses Simon Peter by declaring him the first leader of the church. Yet the Protestant Church often tries to say that Jesus was only speaking in general, not specifically to Simon. Yet only Simon of the original twelve got a name change. It was Peter who stepped up at Pentecost. Only Peter had his reinstatement story recorded, even though they all abandoned him. Peter is "Set Apart" in so many ways. Despite all that, we try to give Paul this distinction, because he wrote so much of the New Testament. Perhaps that actually made Paul more of a teacher than a leader. The epistles he wrote have definitely inspired every generation of the church. That is kind of how it is for teachers, they don’t always get to see much of the fruits of their labor within their mortal lives. Leaders are just the opposite, the majority of their fruits exist within those mortal moments. Even when their churches survive for generations to come, they can do a 180 in a heartbeat if a church doesn’t have good follow-up leaders.

But maybe there is another reason the church wants to dismiss Peter. This concerns another very interesting detail about Peter’s story that we don’t like. Of all the disciples, he is the only one who has all his faults and mistakes on display. Only Peter has been made so exposed. It’s not like the others wouldn’t have made any errors after all, they just aren’t written down with such fervor. What are we to take from this? More importantly, are we avoiding this detail for a reason?

Any good leader must lead by example, yet what we learn from Peter’s example here is vulnerability. Which ultimately makes him more relatable as a leader, instead of unapproachable. But do we appreciate that? In general, studies show vulnerability is widely seen as a positive trait in others, but not so much in self. Therein lies the possible origins of our negative perceptions of Peter, our very own leadership projected this fear of being vulnerable at some point. Then that misconception got passed on from generation to generation without question. Transforming discipleship into defining righteousness instead of actual mentorship.

I was once at a church conference, and the superintendent of that particular district was talking about the subject of vulnerability. He pointed out how this was especially hard for men, for their fear of appearing. . . all of a sudden about a dozen guys in the audience finished the sentence for him by saying “Weak” in unison. You would think someone had held up a cue card. But no, it was just a fact they all lived.

So realizing this, should we expect our leaders to be beyond reproach, or more vulnerable? Well as Matthew 7:1-6 indicates. We become truly righteous by owning our mistakes, not covering them up like the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law did. (Matthew 23) Yet there is also the implication that it is through dealing with our issues, that we learn how to correct others properly, instead of with critical judgment. Something all good leaders should know if we want to transform instead of discourage.

To drive this further. The senior minister at my church said this from the pulpit. “The only one who hasn’t forgiven Peter is the church.” We as the church often beat up on Peter for his imperfections, but would we, if our leaders hadn’t taught us to? The consequence of this is, we beat up our current leaders for not living up to our expectations as well. Talk about a boomerang effect. Often inspiring our leaders to fear vulnerability and be more Pharisee-like, than Peter-like; all the way down to whitewashed righteousness. What can a fake teach you, but how to fake it ourselves?

True discipleship requires vulnerability because without it we can’t own our mistakes. If we don’t own our faults, we can’t overcome them. If we don’t overcome ourselves, we can’t teach others to do the same in a practical way. If our teaching is only theoretical, it is not as effective as it could be. Leading to a church of hypocrites and frauds that cannot delight and inspire the lost.

Do you see now how having more Simon Peters in the church helps lead people to the ever-increasing glory of a more complete and genuine holiness? Where by tearing down our Peters we are reverting back to a Pharisee-like Church of fakes. Yet we wonder why fewer people are going into ministry all the time. The truth is we have bound the people we really need, instead of loosing them.

Consider this one last point. Is not the fear of appearing weak a weakness in itself? Does it not take much more courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable? Let’s face it, when we do that, there will always be those who will try to exploit it. Just like we have exploited Peter’s vulnerability, hence our fear. That is why we need more wisdom and strength than just our own to be good leaders. Our human frailty will show itself eventually. Might as well allow it on your terms, instead of by accident. Which always looks especially bad when we are pretending to be beyond reproach.

The Visual PARABLEist

Disconnected

As mentioned in my last post, I was choosing to observe Lent this year. I gave up social media, for the simple fact that I was seeking answers, and that seemed to lie at the heart of the issue. So I thought it important to record my experiences.

Initially, it became very apparent just how habitual social media had become. I had to remove the app shortcuts from my devices to keep from compulsively opening them without thinking. (I think I will keep my devices that way.) Tradition allows for a break from fasting on the Sabbath. I observed this by live-streaming an old friend's church services on Sunday. Sometimes I would also check specific individual pages as well. This just seemed to highlight just how non-social the format has actually become. People aren’t really sharing of themselves that much. Other than an art contest post, I kept to my fast.

As I revealed in said post, Lenten fasting is about disconnecting from the physical world to better take hold of the spiritual one. Therein lies the irony of giving up social media for Lent in my case. With my ministry being mainly social media-based right now, I found myself feeling detached across the board, not just from the physical world. While I did not miss the virtual sewer of information that is the news feed. I did miss being able to touch the lives of others. This prompted me to do more videos, to fill that void.

My ultimate conclusion is this, social media is best kept in moderation. The negatives far outweigh the positives right now. I quickly adapted to, and preferred life not so attached to the world in this way.

Also, visual parables needs to find new venues beyond social media again. I really don’t know what that is going to look like yet, but it needs to happen if I am going to remain “set apart.” Being detached in that way produced a genuine sorrow in me. There is just no going back after touching certain glories. Yet many avoid ever touching them at all. But I will get more into that in my next video, tentatively titled Ever Increasing Glory. I do hope you seek it out.

The Visual PARABLEist

social media

Spirit Care

The season of Lent is nearly upon us. While many view this as a Roman Catholic thing. However, with so many of our holiday traditions becoming so empty and secularized, many Protestants are looking back at our old traditions as a means of getting back to the original intent. But, as I always say, the value of tradition is in knowing why it is there. Otherwise, it tends to turn into blind sentiment.

Lent itself is modeled after the forty days Christ spent fasting in the wilderness. (Matthew 4:1-11) Hence giving up something for Lent.

Fasting itself is a weird subject, even those who endorse it don't necessarily know anything about it. Sometimes their whole argument is; people in the Bible did it so you should as well. That is a classic false teacher statement. The people who like to prey upon the ignorance of naive people who don't know the whole truth. With that being said, let me say fasting is a deeply personal thing, you shouldn't let anyone tell you when or why you should fast. (Matthew 6:16-18) I say that because in the wrong hands, traditional fasting can be used as a brainwashing tactic. So be Leary of anyone who pushes the practice on you. Let me also add, traditional food fasting should only be practiced by those in good health. Diabetics and hypoglycemics should stay away. However, with this world being so overrun by empty and toxic amusements, I dare say non-traditional fasts may be as, if not more effective at their intended purpose.

Speaking of which, fasting is a way to detach from the physical world to better take a hold of the spiritual one. So there is indeed value and reason behind the practice that many of us may need. In short, a time of reflection and self-examination as we seek God's input. (Psalm 139:23-24)

There are three scriptural reasons to fast. The first is to petition God. If you feel you really need an answer to something, but all the distractions of the world are getting in the way. Fasting can be a way to focus our intentions. As well as humble ourselves before God.

The second is mourning. People will sometimes naturally do this in their grief. Mourning is a natural part of the healing process after all. Yet, we often try to rush people through it, for the sake of our comfort. Especially if we see that they are withdrawing, or not eating. Maybe we should stop assuming the worst and stop interfering with their mourning. Even if we are not comfortable with how their spirit is leading them to do it. The peace of God that they seek is far more valuable to them than your approval any day.

The last is atonement, making reparations for our sins. Atonement may not be absolutely necessary under the New Covenant, with Jesus offering himself as the ultimate sacrificial lamb. Still, this can actually be a very revealing experience if we fast something associated with our problem area. It can show us the depths of our relationship with what we are giving up. This may be beneficial in our eventual repentance of said behaviors if you intentionally approach it that way; instead of merely following a rote tradition.

People often engage a devotional reading during this time as well. Even if they have no interest in doing a fast, they will do this. There are many specific Lenten devotionals available. They are typically about the season of Lent and its traditions and history though. Depending on your intent in engaging Lent; you may try a more targeted subject-based reading plan instead.

I have observed Lent before, but I don't always. I have found it rewarding when I have though. I only formally observe Lent when I feel the need to repent, reconnect, or move past a plateau. I do feel the need this year, for a variety of reasons. Specifically, I will be giving up social media this year. I have expressed my frustrations with the format lately. Being on the dawn of a new leg of my walk as a disciple, and my ministry I have many uncertainties about whether social media needs to be a part of it at all. My hope is this will reveal if there are any real benefits or only detriments. As well as possibly see whether it really is just a crutch for genuine connection. Or possibly just a way to solicit approval and acknowledgment, like many other social media influencers seems to.

Will you be observing Lent to some extent? It just so happens to begin on my birthday this year. This seems rather poetic to me. 2/22/2023 (Ash Wednesday)

The Visual PARABLEist

Some other key passages about fasting

David’s attendants assume he we fasting out of mourning, but in reality, he was petitioning God. -2nd Samuel 12: 16-22

John’s disciples question Jesus about the tradition of fasting. Their tradition wasn’t very scriptural, but Jesus’ response was. -Matthew 9:14-15

Frustrations at church

As I heard from the pulpit recently, the most spiritually mature people in the church are often the most dissatisfied with their church. Which begs the question, why? The broad general answer I came up with is, people want everyone to be in the same place as they are. While that may sound comfortable, it's not very good for the health of the church on multiple levels.

When specifically talking about the spiritually mature. They are not content with all the canned studies and programs. Why should they be? The data indicates that it doesn't really grow people in their faith. It just allows people to be content where they are already at. Which would naturally irritate the mature who may feel they have to stand alone continually. Yet, nobody is in a big hurry to catch up to them.

Then there is how the Body of Christ is supposed to help and support one another. (1st Corinthians 12, Galatians 6:1-6) Naturally, the more mature ones have a smaller pool to connect with when it comes to more complicated spiritual needs. Speaking from experience, there have been times when I have sought advice from people, and it seemed rather evident that the only path they knew was the road most taken of career and family. Since I didn't follow that path, they thought it best to just direct me back to that common path. As if that is the answer for everything. This only proved to alienate me further, not help.

The mature may come off as arrogant know-it-alls to some. If they only share to establish superiority, it's probably a fair assessment. Yet, if they are sharing their wisdom and experience as the body of Christ demands, then it's not. If we are seriously going to look down on people for being the best disciple they can be. It's no wonder average is where people want to stay. But that is not a good standard to hold yourself to. (Revelation 3:15-17)

This is why I adhere to the mantra of “delight and inspire” as an artist and Christian educator. In the end, it’s all you can do because there are absolutely no guarantees about how others will respond to your efforts. Hence the many frustrations of the mature. (John 6:60-66)

For example, as much as I may try to engage people with my visual parables. Much like Christ tried to do with his narrative parables. There will always be those who won't look past the surface, and just want it explained to them. (Matthew 15:13-20, John 10:6)

As much as I may try to challenge people to move forward in their faith. There will always be those who just want warm and fuzzy feel-good fluff. Which just promotes a shallow faith.

As much as I may teach that the state of our heart lies at the root of our failures in righteousness. Many will be content with faking it, just to avoid facing their own brokenness. (Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 23:25-28)

As much as I teach grace and forgiveness. There will always be those who just want to condemn people for their failures instead of lifting a finger to help address the brokenness at the root of their sin. (Matthew 23:1-4)

As much as I teach that the purpose that you are "set apart" for is a key part of true and complete holiness. There will always be those who are content with feeding off the harvest that they will never help plant. With my old church not surviving the shutdowns, it's been slow to integrate myself into a new church where I can serve to the same extent I once did. My spiritual fulfillment has gone down with it. So from my point of view, avoiding service is doing yourself no favors.

This must be how Jesus felt when he realized that the people came to him more for free food than for truth. (John 6:25-27) Yet, it never stopped him from feeding them.

This must be how Jesus felt as he entered Jerusalem with the realization that his time was nearly up, yet so few truly understood. (Luke 19:31-42) Yet he didn't just throw his hands up and shout; you are all unworthy.

The point I am leading up to is this. Spiritual maturity ultimately means that we must recognize that God values our sincerity and devotion more than our desire for success. While we want to believe that God will put all those proverbial ducks in a row and make it easy for us. We must also recognize that we will not outperform Jesus. Even he didn't convince everyone, so we aren't either. We need to set aside our pride and the idol of success it worships.

We also need to be willing to take a step back and ask why people are not responding to teaching. There are likely many fears and other obstacles getting in the way. If it took you ten to thirty years to overcome your obstacles, nobody will get over it in a heartbeat just because you tell them to. That just creates more frustration.

The Visual PARABLEist

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so.
    It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. -Hebrews 6:1-6

The second half of that Hebrews passage can seem scary by itself as if it's saying one strike and your out. But in context, you can see that it is encouraging you to move onto the next level of glory. (2nd Corinthians 3:18) You won't experience the fullness of God's glory by stopping at foundational truths.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.
—Romans 14:1

so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. -1st Corinthians 12:25

Soul Care

Self-care has been a big buzzword these days. I have done a few social media posts about it. My church even did a series on it, only we called it Soul Care to distinguish it from the often shallow and vain version that the world professes. But do we really understand the distinction as well as we should? I even tried writing a full blog about it that I ended up not posting because I felt as if I was missing something. Well, I think I have discovered what I was missing. Something that keeps us from living out proper soul care. A truth that really hits home, so I will waste no more time in sharing it.

We all have basic needs, and I dare say love is a basic need as well. Would scripture talk about it so much if it weren’t? It is such a driving force in so much of what we do, and we can end up doing some crazy things when we don’t get this need met. Even the Lord’s Prayer has a line about basic provision. So it’s important to know where to draw the line with self-care, and I’m starting to realize that even church people may have some terrible boundaries.

With that being said, let me add this. It is okay to be mindful of your basic needs. Granted, it is wrong to take it to parasitic levels where we resort to toxic behaviors to do so, using up people in our wake. I'm sure we all know a person like that. I even did a whole drawing series about such people years back called Emotional Vampires. Believe me, when I say, I would not have done that series if I hadn't suffered from their abuses myself.

This is where I get to what I have specifically learned. Often, when we have been victimized by such self-centered people. Especially as a child, and by a parent. We can often make a very conscious decision to not be like them. While going to the opposite extreme may seem like a good thing, it can lead to what I will call covert parasitic behavior. While covert parasites may not be willing to resort to the impatient, unkind, rude, critical, and other abusive tactics the person who wounded them did. It doesn't change the fact they still have basic needs. This often leads them to resort to more controlling, manipulative, or passive-aggressive methods; albeit unconsciously. This can be just as toxic as the blatant users are, they just delude themselves into thinking it's not.

Covert parasites are often people pleasers and approval addicts. They often give more of themselves than they have to give to buy your affection. While being giving and loving is a good thing. For the covert parasite, there is always a proverbial fishing line attached to their sacrificial giving. They are not doing what they are doing out of the pure goodness in their heart. Rather they are seeking some sort of acceptance, approval, inclusion, validation, praise, or love. Although they are technically draining themselves with these methods, they get just as frustrated and angry as anyone else when people don't bite at their hidden fishing line. They are just too afraid to say so. Their experience teaches them that expressing a need is a negative action, never recognizing it's the means and methods that were at fault, not necessarily the intent. Eventually, they will reach their limit and blow up on all the people they love. Granted they will feel genuinely guilty about it. Since they think they have started channeling the person they are trying to avoid being like. Only to start the same cycle yet again. 

So if any of this sounds familiar, I would suggest that you take a long hard look at yourself and your motivations. Are you really doing what you are doing for them, or are you secretly seeking reciprocation? Are you giving what you yourself need because you feel guilty about asking for it plainly? This is a classic example of what I refer to as opposite extremism. The opposite of crazy is often just insane. Choosing the way of the covert parasite is just that, insane. While the covert parasite is not willfully or intentionally trying to hurt anyone. In the end, it still happens. Can you in good conscience continue with this pattern now that you realize the truth?

Do you see now how being mindful of your basic needs, can actually be the adult and responsible thing to do? As well as be easier and less stressful for everyone involved in the long run.

Easy to define, not so easy to overcome. Covert parasites can often be chameleons, becoming what they believe will give them the love and approval that they are looking for. So they often do not have a good sense of self nor do they have a good grasp on their emotions. So they have a hard time defining or even putting their needs into words. All they have ever done is broadcast their abstract anxiety after all. Putting the burden of discernment of their emotions on the other person. It's unfair and unrealistic to expect other people to understand the incoherent feelings of the covert parasite better than they themselves do.

The thing is; we can't really serve others in a healthy way, as Christ called us to if we are covertly serving our own needs with said actions. So the irony of it all is, sometimes we got to focus on our own wholeness and spiritual well-being before we can truly be good disciples. Are you willing to consider that possibility?

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. -James 1:5

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. -Romans 12:9

The Visual PARABLEist