Community of Factions

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. -Galatians 5:19-21

Ever read or possibly watched the movie based on the book Divergent. It’s a dystopian tale about a society broken into factions. These factions revolved around what each group believed was the ultimate answer to the world’s ills. Which happened to be where their individual natural talents lie. Other factions are often seen as a problem getting in the way of their one-size-fits-all brand of progress. Is this not a reflection of the church universal right now? Broken up into doctrinal factions. This is yet another example of the church following human nature instead of the Holy Spirit. Where we only want to emphasize what we are comfortable with, so we never have to challenge ourselves.

Worship/Love. Churches that center on worship tend to be about provoking feelings. They just want to help the people get happy. As if a whitewash of happiness truly transforms the heart, or honors God. A close cousin to that is love. However, love-centered churches tend to reduce the concept to mere superficial feelings as the world does. So both, if not the same church, effectively turn emotions into an idol. Yet they fail to recognize that the word emotion never appears in the Bible, not once. All because their actual understanding of the Bible is so very shallow.

Outreach. Churches that get overly fixated on evangelism and missions tend to be about recruiting recruiters for the sake of numbers. Yet once they get people in the door, what do they have to offer them but an expectation to recruit. Such churches always run into the same wall. A tepid response to the call of outreach. Some people just don’t have those particular sets of gifts, so they get treated as second-class. Even those who do are sometimes too broken to jump head-first into the mission right away. Since they’ve never been taught wholeness, or anything else not outreach-related. So these churches often just end up fueling people's feelings of inadequacy, instead of walking them through the healing they need to embrace their purpose. Which may, in fact, be outreach, or possibly preparing and equipping people for their purpose. Equipping is a stepping stone that some such churches like to jump over, only to fall on their face. (Eph. 4:11-13)

Obedience. Much like the Pharisees, such churches are mostly about defining righteousness and expecting people to live it, without actually getting involved. Yet they never address the ultimate cause of the bitter fruit of sin. Which always takes root in the heart. Those who don’t get driven away by shame, just end up faking it. Since they have never been taught wholeness of heart either. Does not Romans 2:4 say it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance? So why does this faction only want the emulate his wrath?

While this is far from an exhaustive list, it covers the most common ones I have observed. The irony of it all is that they are constantly pointing fingers at one another saying their gospel is incomplete. Yet they are all correct in saying so. If only they understood that the Holy Spirit would show how all these seemingly incompatible elements actually are dependent on one another.

Factions are listed as acts of the sinful nature of the flesh for a reason. Yet nobody wants to talk about it the same way as all the others. A subtle admission of guilt perhaps. A truly righteous church that follows the Spirit won’t be adding to this particular problem in the body of Christ. Yet those who do are clearly not following the will of God, only their own. Granted, people are frequently in different stages of their spiritual journey. So we are never going to all agree, all the time. However, if we’re continuing to follow the spirit, learn, and mature throughout our lives; shouldn’t the denominations be balancing out?

I know a guy who says “We practice Christianity, not church-inanity. This means our institutional bias’ has a way of shifting our focus away from what the institution was meant to stand for, in favor of the man-made institution itself. So we never question their particular outlook on any detail.

When King David was within the will of God, he was unstoppable. But when he wasn’t, his kingdom started to fall apart. It is no different for us, we could be a force to be reckoned with. Yet until we consider that we may not understand as well as we think and own the faults within the institution, that won’t come to pass.

The Visual PARABLEist

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. -Ephesians 4:15

Spiritual Community

I was looking up passages about community, because let’s face it, it’s considered a vital part of what the church is. Yet it seems to be a place where the current church often struggles these days. Hence the desire to seek wisdom in correcting perceived problems. Certainly, there must be more to it than just throwing a bunch of people together and expecting it to emerge organically as we typically do. While that may be adequate for some personalities. Not so much for other more aloof temperaments. As of now, I have not found any passages on how to cultivate community via some forgotten systematic formula. However, there are a few models given to show us what a church community should look like. (Eph. 4, 1st Cor. 12) Within these examples, there is a shared detail that grants us some practical direction on how to actually fulfill said examples. That being the Holy Spirit. To make these models work, we must follow the Holy Spirit to escape the trappings of pride and self that plague communities. Since the current-day church does not actually resemble either of these models at all, one can only conclude we are following human nature more than the Spirit. So it’s no wonder church communities are often dysfunctional. 

Consider this, according to psychologists, the desire for community is so strong with humanity, that we will try to build a community around just about anything. Including toxic things that only encourage self-destructive behavior. For example, street gangs. Technically a community, but that in itself does not make them beneficial. This should stress why we need more than human will to guide our church communities. Therein lies our first obstacle. Most current churches only give the Holy Spirit lip service at best. Others outright denounce the Holy Spirit, saying the only relevant authority of God's will today is the Bible. There are a few problems with this questionable argument though. 

    1. The statement itself violates the very scripture they profess. (1st Thes. 5:19)
    2. While the Bible can give commands and define righteousness we often need help in application. In the time of Christ, Jesus was constantly correcting the religious authorities in the application of scripture, and questioning their sincerity and motives. Naturally, we still need something more for the specific details of living it out correctly. Christ called the Spirit the Helper (or Advocate depending on the translation) for a reason. (John 14:16 & 15:26)
    3. The Bible can tell us that we are Set Apart for a purpose. But we need the Spirit to lead us to what our specific purpose is. It’s no wonder everyone tells me “I don’t know what my purpose is.”They are asking ministers and teachers, not the Spirit.
    4. The Bible can define sin. Only the spirit can reveal what the specific root of it in you is. Or what you specifically need to address to overcome it. The oversimplified whitewash-like advice of “stop it” has only led to frustration and repeated backsliding. The spirit can also give us the strength to face our wounds and resist, so we can actually live by said definitions. (Eph. 3:16)
    5. While some argue the Holy Spirit was only relevant in the apostolic age, let me refer you back to John 14:16 where Jesus says the the spirit would be with us FOREVER. Legalists even try to put a time limit on “blasphemy of the Spirit.” Even though there is no reference to time at all in the applicable passages. (Matt. 12:31-32, Mark 3:28-30, Luke 12:8-10) Some may use this made-up excuse to rationalize their blatant blasphemy. For others, it may be more about arrogance. They assume that if miraculous things still happened today they would be the first to experience it. They would rather change the script than admit they are not nearly as Holy as they assume.

“. . . The Helper can never be packaged or programmed to fit any man-devised plan. . . “ -Catherine Marshall, The Helper

Here in lies many people's issues with the Holy Spirit, our human nature likes our systematic and predictable formulas. As well as our ability to control the narrative and outcome. If we deny the Spirit, we think He can’t get in the way of our less-than-divine plans.

Granted we will always need the Bible as a litmus test, to remind us of our ultimate goals in the Christian walk. So as not to confuse our own emotions with the Spirit. Or possibly an unclean spirit that would deceive us. In short, the Bible tells us where we need to go, but the Spirit tells us how to get there. But even the Bible will do you no good if you rely on blasphemers of the Spirit with ulterior motives to explain it to you.

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” -John 3:8

Spiritual Healing

Wounds cause negative cycles, but it’s not enough to break cycles, we must replace them. Healing of said wounds cannot be achieved at a distance.

Matthew 12:43-45
“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

It’s really easy to get distracted by Jesus’ dark imagery on this one. Yet perhaps the reasoning for it is because the potential consequences are so very dire. Once we get past that it becomes clear that he’s saying it’s not enough to eliminate the bad because it leaves a void. If not refilled deliberately with good things, bad things will find their way back in. In the case of sin, they don’t just spawn out of nothing after all, each person responds from their own heart. So if our heart is wounded it will more likely respond in ugly shortsighted ways.

It’s also easy to just label things wrong or evil. it’s not as easy to stop and consider how these sins we struggle with may actually be a misguided coping mechanism. Removing even dysfunctional mechanisms recklessly without a replacement will produce consequences, and ultimately backsliding. That’s why we must face the wound behind our sins, and not just the sin itself. As I said upfront, we must do more than break cycles, we must replace them.

Ephesians 4:22-24 puts it this way.
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

It doesn’t just say take off the old self, nor just put on the new self, but both. If we just took off the old self we would be left spiritually naked and vulnerable. If we just put on the new self, the old would soil the new. If we only focus on one side of it, we are only setting ourselves up for failure. Yet there is a third point in-between, about the attitude of the mind. This is key to breaking unconscious behavioral cycles.

Consider Matthew 19:16-22

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
“Which ones?” he inquired.
Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”
“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.”

In the original Greek the word translated perfect, can also mean complete. Which may fit better with the actual question of “What do I still lack?” A curious way to put it, but it indicates he knew something was missing and was looking for answers to fill his emptiness. Despite all his wealth, he still did not feel whole. We don’t know how he came to put all his hope into money, or what happened to him afterwards. Since he chose to walk away from the answer at that moment. He didn’t even try to question or argue with Jesus. The only thing certain was he refused to change when told what he lacked. So the wholeness of heart he sought could not be found, since he refused to accept what the real problem was, misplaced hope. Like I said up front, healing cannot happen from a distance. Our flaws must be faced to overcome them.

A specific detail I noticed about this passage this time around is that when asked, what commandments should I follow, Jesus doesn’t say all of them; he gets specific. You may have heard that the Ten Commandments are divided into our relationship with God, and our relationships with one another. The six mentioned are all the commandments that deal with others, not God. It’s like Jesus is leading him to his ultimate answer. Letting us know that there is more to caring about others than mere commands. Even if we don’t break said commandments, it doesn’t automatically make us sincere. Do we also think of ourselves as more righteous than we really are similarly? Technically within the letter of the law, yet insincere in its application. Do we like the rich man only care about ourselves, not others? This insincerity points to the flaws within our hearts. Are you willing to face your areas of insincerity?

We see a very different response in John 4:13-26 & 39-42
The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” 

He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 

“I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” 

“Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”
“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” 

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” 

Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.””

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers. They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.””

Here there are no excuses, no denials, and no running away, but rather engagement. Jesus responds not with criticism or judgment, but by sharing great truths with her. Not about her errors though. Instead, he speaks of worship and salvation. Why is this? Could he be focused more on solutions because she had effectively owned her problem already? So he offers her an alternative, what she could be filling the void with. Instead of condemning the questionable things she was trying to fill the emptiness with. A solution Jesus himself wants to be a part of. What are we focused on with ourselves and others; the solution, or the problem? Not only that she shared her experience with others, and they engaged Jesus as well. She is already starting to experience the “set apart” life by touching the lives of others. This is critical for the full restoration of the heart.

Let me wrap up by repeating my opening statement. Wounds cause negative cycles, but it’s not enough to break cycles, we must replace them. Healing of said wounds cannot be achieved at a distance. What cycles do you need to replace? Are you trying to prune the proverbial weeds from a distance with no results? It's not enough to identify problems, we must deal with them. Otherwise, they just turn into excuses, a place to shift the blame from self.

The Visual PARABLEist

The Mystery

The book of Ephesians is an epistle I have taken a deep dive into recently. While the general theme is supposed to be about expanding our horizons. However, it occurred to me this time around that the misapplication and misunderstanding of the principles within have actually minimized the horizons of the church. For example, the Greek word musterion appears 6 times in the book of Ephesians. (1:9, 3:3, 3:4, 3:9, 5:32, 6:9) Which literally means mystery or secret. While most scholarly translations maintain the mystery, simplified translations will sometimes marginalize the word. The current church has marginalized this mystery in practice as well, and the ramifications are catching up to us. Alan Hirsch has already highlighted one of them with his book 5Q, which I have blogged about already. So we have been there. If only the church would do that. Here is a brief recap of some of the other misunderstood truths I found in this powerful epistle.

Chapter One, Predestination.
Some people take this concept to the extreme. Thinking it means that all our choices have been made for us already and that there is no free will. I imagine the appeal is that it absolves us of all responsibility. Leading to a very passive church that has fallen way short of the many things promised in Ephesians. In chapter one alone it talks of blessings, unity, and power. Clearly, passivity has not led us there. There is so much more to be had. We were predestined to be gifted with the means to live the Mystery of God’s will. Too many have chosen not to embrace those options fully.

Chapter Two, Works.
One of the most quoted passages in Ephesians is 2:8-9 which says we are saved by grace, not by works. Since works have nothing to do with salvation, people assume works must have no value at all. Leading to a very passive church. If only they would keep reading to verse 10 they would realize how wrong that is. Works have tons of value in areas other than salvation. Passivity is not God’s will, because it doesn’t work at all.

Chapter Three, The Holy Spirit.
Here it is revealed that the Holy Spirit is the key to unlocking the mystery. How we live out a love that surpasses knowledge. However, since we cannot qualify or judge the spirit systematically. Or embrace it without making a spectacle of it. Many just dismiss the idea. The church's horizons have diminished as a result. There are teachers and even denominations that openly blaspheme the spirit by saying that there is no other authority other than the Bible. Despite that, the Bible itself rebukes such ideas. (1st Thessalonians 5:19, John 3:5-8)

Chapter four, The two sides of righteousness.
Many teachers merely define righteousness, and just tell people to go live it as the Pharisees did. (Matthew 23:1-4) If that worked we wouldn’t have needed a savior. As Galatians 5:16 says “if you walk by the spirit, you won’t gratify the desires of the flesh.” In other words substitute instead of suppress. Don’t just take off the old self, but put on a new self in its place. Don’t just put on a new self either, the old self underneath will soil the new. Applying this truth one-dimensionally has only led to continuous failure.

Chapters Five & Six, Rules for Christian Households.
When some people read this all they see is the privilege of masculinity. Yet failing to notice this comes with huge responsibilities as well. Men who don’t live up to these responsibilities have no right to demand said privileges. Men who want all the privileges but not all the responsibilities are bad husbands, fathers, bosses, ministers, and leaders. It’s irresponsible men who have brought on radical feminism. The thing is feminists want all the privileges of femininity and masculinity as well. Yet not necessarily the responsibility that goes with it. In the end, their attempt to prove that they are better than men has only revealed they are no better than men.

Ephesians closes with the famous passage of the armor of God. This is in no way a call to passivity, apathy, or privilege. Quite the opposite. It is a call to step up in preparation, a call to action, a call to live the mystery of the gospel. But a church with such narrow horizons just isn’t up to this mystery that surpasses the mere knowledge they idolize.

The Visual PARABLEist  

This is why it is said: “Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”-Ephesians 5:14

Birthmark Society

Excuse me for breaking free from my regular subject matter to say something about May being vascular birthmark awareness month. (May 15th specifically being birthmark awareness day.) Some may be rolling their eyes and saying to themselves "Do we really need another awareness day?" Well, as the old saying goes “First seek to understand, then to be understood.” While such days may always start as an invitation to understand. One cannot help if some merely see it as a demand to be understood. The easiest thing in the world to do is dismiss someone who dismisses you first. So an innocent invite can easily escalate into a demand when people refuse to allow their assumptions to be disrupted. No wonder there is so little understanding these days.

With that out of the way, as someone who has a prominent birthmark here is what it has taught me about humanity. Despite all our virtue signaling, and conditioned tact, there are still a lot of shallow and superficial people out there. You would be hard-pressed to convince me that people are basically good because of it. It’s one of multiple reasons I tend to distrust people. That’s one of the biggest demons I wrestle with right now. I get judged for that too, but humanity in general earned that distrust, so their judgment carries little weight with me. Which brings me to the flip side of it. This has taught me not to be motivated by acceptance, approval, and validation. This frees me to pursue my genuine interests, rather than what the world around me wants to validate. Let’s face it, we live in an age where acceptance is so coveted, that you can get people to do just about anything if you only validate it. 

Children will ask straightforward questions about my birthmark out of curiosity, and I don’t fault them for it. I usually tell them I’m part leopard and those are my spots. Most are smart enough to know I’m teasing them, but it does defuse the spook factor of it. Unlike a bunch of technical jargon. Even adults would not likely know what a Nevus Flammeus is after all. The caveat to that is that autistic kids have responded in absolute terror, regardless of the type of language I’ve used.

As kids age to the middle and high school range, curiosity tends to turn to disgust. This is where the bullying ramps up over inconsequential differences, making them seem very consequential. This is a time when the desire for acceptance, approval, and validation goes into high gear after all. This is where our culture starts to faction off. When individuals start to compromise themselves for the sake of being part of a peer group. Even so-called counter-cultural groups do so collectively. While they may choose to dis-identity with the mainstream because the mainstream rejected them first. They are still doing so in a formula way for the sake of having a peer group. As Eric Hoffer Once said. “When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.” Yet having a superficial difference of any kind can disqualify you from such foolishness.

Adults tend to make assumptions about it. A rash or burn is the most common in my case. That’s how adults are, once you get to a certain age you try to make everything fit into what you already know. Instead of assuming you haven’t seen everything yet. Many will even assume you are lying, even after telling them the truth. Especially when you are a kid. Being constantly disbelieved for telling the truth as a kid didn’t exactly increase my faith in humanity. However, with my birthmark being on my arm and chest I tend to have a different experience than those with a mark on their face. That conditioned politeness keeps most adults from asking me about it most of the time. They usually have to get comfortable around me first to ask about it. Hard to say how many don’t get comfortable with me because of it though. But it seems having a mark on the face tends to stretch the limits of manners as I hear it. With that being said, senior citizens can revert back to a childlike wonder about it in their final years.

Some people just love to be cruel regardless though. You can regulate “hate speech” all you want, but in the end, it just makes the fruit forbidden, i.e. more desirable to the sadistic. If people want to wear their ugliness on their sleeve like that, then so be it. It’s a red flag for decent souls. The thing is, people wouldn’t flaunt their ugliness like that if someone wasn’t encouraging it, or if it wasn’t attracting like-minded people to them. Yet it may go deeper than that. When a person makes another uncomfortable, the uncomfortable person often tries to shame the person triggering their discomfort. They want you to hate yourself for disturbing the illusion inside the bubble they live in. In hopes that you will steer clear of their hair triggers. For example, there are YouTube channels run by amputees sharing their experiences. Which is a great resource for recent amputees to adapt and adjust to their new situations. Yet some pathetic people will report these videos as disturbing imagery. A testament to how individuals think their comfort is more important than other people's trauma. This is exactly why I don’t hide my birthmark, or even get laser treatments for it. If you are really that shallow, I’d just assume know about it up front. Yet, I may delight in triggering your superficial nature. Besides, who am I to change God’s work. However, I do recognize if my birthmark was on my face, or it grew and thickened like many vascular birthmarks do, I may feel very differently. The trauma caused by basically good people would surely be on another level.

I am so much more than my birthmark, identity is more than skin deep after all. Yet, I do recognize its presence has shaped who I am. Not the mark itself, but how it has affected my relationships with others. Sure I could go to great efforts to try and convince the world to feel about me the way I think they should. Since we live in a culture that wraps so much of our self-worth in our relationships. Or I can just live my own life without revolving it around the people who hate me for dumb reasons. While promoting understanding can be a good thing, yet if you're basing your happiness and fulfillment on everyone feeling the way you want them to, you are just setting yourself up for misery. If people were that reasonable, we wouldn’t even be discussing this in the first place.

The Visual PARABLEist

Birthmark society Apparel

Imbalance

A minister friend of mine who has switched churches recently is revisiting the fivefold gifting found in Ephesians 4:11

“So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,

One point he lifted up that struck me this time around was the distinction between the outwardly focused roles versus the inward ones. You really do need both because they support one another. But do we approach it that way?

For example, I once knew a minister whose mantra was reach up, reach in, reach out. Yet the majority of the emphasis was on reaching out. His thinking was, that we need to reach out to build attendance. In his mind, that is what the church needed most. I tried to point out the shortsightedness in his logic multiple times. One time in particular I said, “Reaching up and reaching in is like boot camp for reaching out.” While he agreed, he still insisted on rushing everyone through basic training. So few felt up to stepping up to his challenge to reach out. So basically his outreach was limited by his reluctance to reach in where his church truly needed it, or lead the flock to more in-depth reaching up.

Another example from the other end is a church I used to go to that has fallen on hard times in recent days. So they have shifted from thriving to merely surviving. They are so busy trying to save the institution, they have forgotten what the institution is supposed to stand for. When you don’t support outwardly leaning programs just because they don’t serve you directly, you are clearly missing the point. Their inward focus has become more about the institution, for self’s sake. Instead of restoration of self through our relationship with God. Which is ultimately meant to equip us for discipleship.

Either way, an imbalance is created in the fivefold. So let’s look at the rest of the passage.

to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” -Ephesians 4:12-13

A church that only enables two to three of the gifts cannot truly be united in faith, because some people and their inherent gifts are excluded. Nor can it experience the fullness of Christ, because vital truths are being neglected. So consider this, the original Greek for "equip" can also mean repair, prepare, or perfecting. So I reiterate, a church that does not utilize all five gifts is far from perfect. If anything it needs some major repair of its inner structure. The question is, are we willing to let go of the familiar to rebuild the complete and balanced church that Christ intended.

“By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.” -1st Corinthians 3:10-15

The Visual PARABLEist

Why we won't Forgive.

Forgiveness takes Faith & Trust.

The infamous phrase “eye for an eye” found in Exodus 21:23 is often used as an excuse to retaliate instead of forgive. Forgetting it is specific to physical injury. However, another way to put it would be, may the punishment fit the crime. This was their official law back then, not how to be a vigilante. Let’s face it, when we feel wronged we often have an urge to one-up the betrayer. The command was meant to maintain reason in justice and prevent over-punishment of this kind of crime.

Yet with wrongs like theft, the offender was required to pay back double in the case of returned property. Or up to 5 times in the case of property that cannot be returned. (Exodus 22:1-4) This crime is treated differently and meant to teach us consequences and accountability. Let’s face it, loss often cuts deeper than the intrinsic value. The time and energy in dealing with the aftermath is reflected in the punishment. Yet also recognizes that this punishment is not permanent. 

However, these are not typically the areas we take issue with or obsess over when it comes to payback. Rather intangible things that can’t ever be taken back like betrayal, slander, or adultery. These are the negative things we latch onto, that only fill us with said negativity. As Hebrews 12:15 says “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” The implication is that the effects of bitterness can go far and wide beyond the grudge holder. Not that we can’t air our grievances at all. But if they aren’t validated immediately, it’s unlikely that nitpicking the issue will change anything. This is where bitterness starts to take root in our hearts. This is where we need to self-regulate and offer Christ-like grace.

Biblical forgiveness ultimately takes faith and trust in God's judgment and timing. That means letting go of our right to judge. As it says in Proverbs 28:26 “Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.” Other translations use the word delivered instead of kept safe, either way, consider what we are delivered or kept safe from in the case of trusting God with discipline. Is it not our own bitterness?

Biblical forgiveness does not necessarily mean everything is forgotten and OK either. Hence our hesitation in forgiving. Ironically, relentlessly chasing after restitution, even just in thought, means ongoing contact with the offender. This just opens us up to additional pain when they refuse to own their wrongs or are blissfully unaware. Sometimes forgiving without strings is the only way to truly be free of toxic people and situations. Again we must trust in God to handle it.

As it says in Romans 12:17-19 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. We don’t know the other person’s full story, or what kind of wounds lie behind their behavior. Nor do we know what lies on the other side of their mountain. But God does, he knows who can be saved, and what it takes to give them their moment of redemption. That may take time, more time than we may like. Again we must have faith, trust God, and be patient with his timing. When we focus on vengeance, we are only focusing on things that will destroy our hearts. When we take our focus off retaliation, we can put our focus back on what can heal our hearts, God.

Consider Genesis 18:20-21 “Then the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”” God specifically cites the outcry against them as one of his reasons for destroying Sodom and Gomorrah. While an extreme case, it does show that God will deal with issues when we take it to him rather than deal with it ourselves.

We must remember that we can’t fix other people, especially by counterattacking. But sometimes as believers, our presence can have a positive impact on people. Therein lies the variable of whether to keep hurtful people in our lives or not. Whether the negative impact on us is greater than our positive impact on them. Know your limits. Then focus on dealing with your own limitations, instead of the faults of others. Like any good disciple should. (Matthew 7:1-6)

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