Opposite Extremism

Many people have a fear of becoming like one of their parents if they possess toxic traits. Some may even make a deliberate effort to do the exact opposite of their parent's patterns. However, I have learned that the greatest wrongs are seldom a perfect 180 degrees from the truth. That is how they disguise themselves as seeming true after all. So if said behavior is only 90 degrees off the mark, we will be just as far from the right path as we were before doing a 180, just an opposite extreme form of it. Sometimes the church falls into these patterns as well, so any extreme is often just as much of an incomplete truth as the opposite extreme. Overcompensating one detail will never replace the absence of another. No matter how much more important we may think it is. That is sort of like saying the back wheel of a motorcycle is more important than the front one. Without both, you’re going nowhere.

““Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.” -Matthew 23:23

A good example is the environmental issue. With so many taking the issue to neo-pagan extremes by treating the earth like a goddess. It has led many in the church to go to the opposite extreme and treat the earth with utter contempt. Instead of the more balanced idea of being good stewards of all that God had given us. (Deuteronomy 26:1-15, 1st Corinthians 10:24-26)

An example that hits closer to home is the obedience vs love debate. Many insist that the ultimate goal in Christianity is righteousness and discipline. Yet when you emphasize it to the point of neglecting love, all you can really do is define it, and then criticize people when they fail. This discourages more people than it saves for the simple fact that any submission to bullying ultimately lacks sincerity. (Matthew 15:7-9) A broken person naturally struggles with discipline, but it's love not definitions, that repairs the foundation that enables obedience. 

This extremism has only inspired some to overemphasize love in response. It also has led people to redefine love as acceptance, approval, and validation. On the surface, it may seem like a good thing, but on closer examination, it falls apart. If a child tries to stick a paper clip in an outlet. Is it the parent who accepts this, or the one who doesn’t that’s the more loving one? If someone wants to try cocaine for the first time. Is it the one who approves or disapproves that is the more loving? If someone wants to make a hasty life-altering decision. Is it the one who validates without question that’s the more loving one? Or is the one who says let’s talk about and examine this more closely first? In the end, love without any discipline only becomes permissive of self-destructive behavior.

Self-indulgence tends to set off the legalists who often just resort to mockery of the lost. Leading the other side to fight mockery with their own mockery of their systematic ways. Yet both sides seem blissfully unaware of what the Bible says about this practice. Psychology even confirms just how ineffective this tactic is. They call it The Framing Effect. The idea is that information is often gauged more by how it is presented, instead of the validity of facts. Yet the Bible has told us all along, that truth is not a free pass to be impatient, unkind, and rude. (Galatians 6:1) Ultimately every dimension of truth must be upheld, or it’s only a half-truth, and a half-truth can be just as destructive as an outright lie.

I dare say much of this extremism comes back to comfort. We emphasize the parts we are comfortable with and feel confident in. Yet neglect the parts we dislike or struggle to understand. This is not how you grow, or engage discipleship. So I urge you to stop and take a long hard look at yourself and your actions. Then ask the LORD where you may be neglecting his complete truth.

The Visual PARABLEist

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, -Psalm 1:1

The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.
He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.
The wise inherit honor, but fools get only shame. -Proverbs 3:33-35

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. -Proverbs 9:7-8