This got me thinking about where this idea even comes from. It often gets painted as Biblical, but is it? I could only find one instance of the word unconditional in the Bible, but it had nothing to do with Love. (Numbers 3:9) It was also specific to the NASB translation. (I limited my search to more scholarly translations in this case) Of course, many of these scriptural concepts are presented abstractly, not systematically. So that in itself is not necessarily evidence of anything.
Grace is often seen as an example of unconditional love. Yet it is somewhat dependent upon repentance though. With that being said, repentance is not a three-strikes and your-out concept. The Israelites blew way past that just in their 40 years in the wilderness. Jesus set a very different bar with his 70x7 statement. (Matt. 18:22) So perhaps the confusion lies in application. The church in its humanness often seems to offer grace inconsistently. Freely offering it to some. Yet stingy with it for others. Not that the world is any better by their so-called standard.
Perhaps the truly operative word here is love itself. The world today often equates it with tolerance and acceptance. So much so we cannot separate who we are from what we do. Meaning if you love someone, you can’t correct or question them, because that would make it conditional. This is a notoriously short-sighted view that will lead to terrible consequences when people set boundaries around their self-destructive and abusive behaviors. Which they do. God would never allow himself to be that foolish with love, even if we do. That is why his love is associated more with discipline, than tolerance. (Hebrews 12:4-13) Yet acceptance applied to unconditional love is a prime example of the double standard that I alluded to. We often expect people to tolerate things from us, that we would never accept from anyone. Even Biblically speaking, no one is expected to tolerate infidelity after all. (Matthew 5:31,32) So in that since love should be conditional.
Which brings up another aspect. Want versus need. For example, many want to win the lottery. Yet statistics show most lottery winners are flat broke within 5 years of the last payment being received. This is a testament to how giving somebody something that they are not mature enough to handle can be a bad thing. Since what they wanted was not what they really needed. A truly loving person understands this and puts need before want, even if some call that conditional in their immaturity. Yet in our limited mortal nature, we often fail to discern this accurately. Often interjecting our comfort into the needs of others. There is also more to need than just basic physical ones. The tail end of 1st Corinthians 12 actually lifts up this notion of varying spiritual needs. Instead of a one-size-fits-all application as people tend to favor. Especially if they are the standard.
This highlights another subtle Biblical point that most have overlooked. Yet may be the answer we truly need. 1st Corinthians 12 through 14 are all part of the same broader passage. To lump the 13th “love” chapter in with spiritual gifts implies something. To truly love in a Godly way, we must do so in the spirit, not the flesh. When you get down to it, all these unrealistic notions about unconditional love, boundaries, and the double standards associated with them likely all occur because we try to love with the sinful nature of the flesh instead. Only the Spirit can navigate us through this complex notion without becoming self-serving in application. So if the church universal is seen as unloving. It is either devoid of spirit or being looked at merely through the lens of the flesh. It has become quite apparent that the world around us is doing just that, rather unapologetically too. All the more reason to not love as they do.
Let’s face it, we live in a world that wants to take love, rather than give love. This one detail ultimately turns something beautiful, into something ugly. With that being said, I would like to propose eliminating the phrase “unconditional love” from our vernacular. It’s just too misleading and unrealistic. It is not the ultimate standard that the world would have you believe. I propose we embrace “agape love” instead. With the understanding that it is dependent upon the Holy Spirit to truly fulfill.
No comments:
Post a Comment