Wholeness: Valentine's Day edition

It occurred to me that Valentine's Day brings with it a unique opportunity in my series on Wholeness. I say this for the simple fact that humanity has this tendency to look to romantic relationships for wholeness. A more tangible thing than what we have and will be talking about in this series; hence, the appeal I'm sure. A trend we see in both the church and the secular world. That in itself makes this desire suspect. So I think it's time we take a long hard look at this notion.

I think the average Christian’s rationale in looking to marriage for completion all comes down to this passage.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” -Matthew 19:4-6

In many ways, I think people tend to read way too much into this passage. It specifically says; two shall become one flesh. However, it does not say one soul, one spirit, one mind, one heart, or even one set of emotions, but one flesh. Of all the words, Jesus could have used, he said flesh. Yet, we often try to project these other ideas of one soul or heart into our relationships, and end up judging our partners by this ridiculously impossible standard. Looking to someone else to complete you is in reality a very burdensome expectation to heap upon another. If anything it will more likely break a person than make them whole. It's not something I think we should do to those we claim to love, but often do.

Granted, marriage is meant to be a holy sacrament. Yet, Jesus' choice of words doesn't necessarily imply anything supernatural about it. Considering what scripture says about the flesh in other parts of the Bible, which is seldom positive, tends to bring the notion out the clouds and back down to earth where it belongs. So let's not try to turn marriage into something mystical, simply because we wish it were so.

If anything I think Jesus was warning us to not take marriage lightly. To illustrate just how devastating separation can be to our wholeness, and overall well being.

If you find this post convicting at all, maybe you should apologize to your spouse for trying to expect them to be more God like than they are capable of being. That should be the best Valentine's Day gift ever.

‘’My orphan heart thought love was to complete someone else and to be completed by them. I didn’t understand that when two people who aren’t whole try to complete each other they both end up with less than when they started. I didn’t understand that the only one who can make a person whole is God.”
- Lacey Sturm, The Mystery

The Visual PARABLEist

Wholeness part 3

Spiritual Procrastination

In my 8/18/20 post, I made the rather bold statement of "Most Christians are too busy playing ring around the cross to embrace the resurrected life." As great as forgiveness is, it's meant to give us a chance to work out our salvation (Phil. 2:12) not as a license to sin. (Rom. 6:15) Whether we are consciously doing that, or just lack the persistence or know how to pursue greater glories. The result is the same, a plateau in our spirituality. We will never find wholeness while we are stagnating.

I don't want to oversimplify this and make it seem easy, because it's not. Those that portray it as easy tend to be very prideful and arrogant, so it seems that they have merely traded one sin for another. The sinful nature of the flesh is indeed a powerful force, a force that cannot be overcome in the strength of the flesh. Yet so often that is just what we try. So in essence, we apply a fight fire with fire scenario, which creates an inferno. Believe me, trying to resist sin via the flesh can indeed turn into a virtual inferno of passions.

We truly need something more powerful than the flesh to be able to overcome the flesh. That is where the Holy Spirit comes in. We may hear this continually, but still, the Spirit can be a very abstract concept to wrap our minds around. He cannot be rendered down to a formula approach, or a systematic definition. Maybe this is why we tend to downplay him in our faith. Yet, we wonder why the church seems so powerless. See my previous post for more on the Holy Spirit. 

Keep in mind, the Spirit will not just give you the strength to overcome. He will reveal to you the truth behind your sin as well. Which in many ways can be the most daunting part of the process, but necessary for long-term change. See my Enter the Wound Challenge post for more on this.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. -Ephesians 4:22-24

It's not just a matter of putting on a new life, we must shed the old one as well. Anything old that we miss can soil the new. While this verse may make it seem easy, Jesus used more graphic imagery in Mark 9:43-47. While it may be off-putting to some, I find it comforting that Jesus lets us know that he understands just how deeply attached our sinful nature is and recognizes that it's no easy task to deal with it.

Trying to drag too much of our old life into the new one can indeed impede our wholeness, but it is a process. A process I dare say we can be such procrastinators on. Like anything else, when we know we have a lot to do and not much time to do it in, we can be very deliberate with our time and get things done. Yet, when we have lots of time we can get very inefficient with our days, and leave much undone. A very dangerous game to play with our wholeness.

The Visual PARABLEist

 

Wholeness part 2

The Broken State

God the Father created us, the world broke us, and Jesus the son can recreate us. This is a significant statement in the creed of Christianity; one I don't think we take seriously enough. I say this because I don't think many people stop to consider the distinction between these three states.

The vast majority of men in prison have no relationship with their fathers at all. Most convicted serial killers were physically abused before the age of 5. Children of narcissists who don't become narcissists themselves will often have people-pleasing tendencies as adults. Children of alcoholics can be such habitual liars that they will often lie, even when there is no need to. I could name a dozen other examples, but I think I've made my point. That point being, our brokenness can go to the very core of self, which can have a tremendous negative effect on our path in life. This world is so fallen, few escape childhood unscathed.

Despite this, the world still tells us to just follow our feelings blindly. Even when the world does acknowledge brokenness, it's often just as a rationale or excuse for destructive behavior. Yet, when we follow the world's advice to embrace our brokenness, we will inevitably choose the quickest and easiest way to provoke the feelings we want or cover up the ones we don't. Which can lead to compulsive and self-destructive patterns as aforementioned. We may also transform ourselves into whatever validates us and grants us a feeling of acceptance and approval from the world. How can this lead to the true self, or healing?

If the church does not take this into consideration when dealing with the lost, their attempts to correct will only end up being critical, hurtful, and alienating. Which begs the question, would a truly holy new creation in Christ act this way? Well Matthew 7:1-6 would indicate no. (See my video Bad Judgment for more on this) Yet with this tactic being so common, it would seem to indicate that many in the church are not going far enough in their walk as disciples. They are stopping short of actual wholeness. Which is a huge obstacle in the growth of the church.

It's no wonder wholeness is such an alien concept to us, seeking it truly is the road less traveled. Where indulging your brokenness is a six lane highway. While God does indeed want you to embrace your true self, but you are probably will need to go through re-creation to get there. Where the world wants you to embrace your brokenness, so they have twisted and confused everything so much that many believe that it is the true self. The church isn't really helping by not leading by a good example, instead of a legalistic surface one. What state are you in?

The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse— who can understand it? I the Lord test the mind and search the heart, to give to all according to their ways, according to the fruit of their doings. -Jeremiah 17:9-10

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. -Ezekiel 36:26

The Visual PARABLEist

Wholeness Part 1

I don't think anybody would doubt that we live in troubled times. For the church, it has led us to point many fingers of blame at the world. Yet maybe, the world is the way it is, is caused by the church not doing its job as it should. Have we repeated all the same mistakes that Pharisees of Christ's time did? Has our weak faith failed to delight and inspire the outside world? Have we lead more by definition than example? Have we imparted knowledge, but not necessarily understanding? Have we portrayed the "good news" very negatively?

While the reasons for this possibility are numerous and diverse, I want to take a closer look at one thing specifically; that being wholeness. As I indicated in my Three-dimensional holiness post, our lack of wholeness often prevents us from succeeding in the moral side of holiness. As well as lead us to seek acceptance, approval, and affirmation from the world, instead of being "set apart" from it; as holiness requires. Also, as I indicated in my Cart before the horse video, by leading with the moral side of holiness, instead of viewing it as the destination, we are setting ourselves up for failure.

So I think it is time that we take a long hard look at this concept of wholeness. It is apparently a very foundational truth that has been tragically neglected, which shows in our lack of fruitfulness. Once the church gets themselves into a better place, we should be better equipped to disciple the world as Christ did, instead of as the Pharisees did.

Maybe this is what I have been working towards all along. My recent series on the heart surely fits, as well as my State of Shalom post way back in 2014. As well as countless others. Time to bring all my efforts together.

This is way too big a concept to cover in a single post. But one must start somewhere. I can't honestly even say where it's all going right now. All I can say for sure is I need to take this journey. Will you be joining me in it?

The Visual PARABLEist

Three-dimensional Holiness

The word holy has three distinct yet interconnected meanings. All are reflections of God himself, not just a list of arbitrary rules. Understanding holiness and God, are actually one in the same. So to seek holiness ourselves is to make ourselves more like him.

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” -1st Peter 1:15-16

Yet, I contend that our failures in achieving holiness often stems from approaching it so one-dimensionally. Our misunderstanding of it has left us confused on where to draw the line on many key issues as well. So let's take a closer look at this concept so that we may better walk the path that every true disciple should be following. As well as finally get past the repeated obstacles we have encountered.

1. The first thing that Holy means is, without moral flaw. This is the one we all know; so this is where most of us start. However, this is more of an end instead of a beginning. The destination of holiness if you will. The part we can all see and judge; hence, the fixation on it. Yet, by leading with this we are making holiness a matter of behavior. However, holiness is something we become, not just what we do. So we often set ourselves up for failure by trying to act holy without transforming into something that is capable of being fully holy.

2. Holy also means whole or complete. To seek holiness, we must seek wholeness. This fallen world in which we live often wounds us, damaging our wholeness. There is what God created us to be, and then there is what the world broke us to be. We often have a hard time making that distinction. Yet, there is nothing in this world that can truly make us whole again, not that it stops us from trying. Yet, everything the world offers in the name of pseudo-wholeness is notoriously temporary, unholy, and self-destructive.

‘’My orphan heart thought love was to complete someone else and to be completed by them. I didn’t understand that when two people who aren’t whole try to complete each other they both end up with less than when they started. I didn’t understand that the only one who can make a person whole is God.” - Lacey Sturm, The Mystery

Only the touch of God can heal us and make us truly whole again. Only then, can we become someone who can live a holy, moral, and upright life. (Isaiah 57:14-21)

3. Holy also means distinct or set apart. In a world, that is often motivated by conformity, and acceptance, this can be a hard one to swallow. Psychologists have done countless social experiments on social pressures, and they all point to the same thing. The human desire for validation often leads us to do things outside our own character, or even things that we know are wrong. So one can never become whole or moral by following our emotional human nature. Even the church can fall into this trap of making holiness about conventionality and approval. Where in reality, holiness requires that we reject this worldly notion of human approval, and comfort. 

Counter cultures often confuse the idea, often painting the notion of  “set apart” in a negative light. What we need to realize is that there is a distinction of being “set apart” from the world, and set apart from popular culture; which is just another brand of worldliness. While counter cultures movements often dis-identify with the popular culture, the irony of it all is that their own standards are often as rigid and narrow as the society they are rejecting. They are only comfortable in rebelling, when they can do it collectively. These movements only exist so that they can embrace a different brand of worldliness that they believe will appease their wounds, revolve around their feelings, and ideas of comfort. As well as create a subculture that will validate them by seeking self instead of God and his holiness.

The theologian John Wesley wrote about a concept called social holiness, meaning it takes a faith community to nurture transformation. You absolutely need to embrace all three dimensions of holiness for this to work at all. Without all of it people won't have a safe place to work out their salvation, with all its trials and errors. Without a safe place to fall you'll likely just end up following your feelings, and need for comfort instead of sound doctrine; only putting on the heirs of a superficial whitewashed brand of holiness. Which often leads to a very uniform church, with little diversity of gifts and experiences. So you won't be able to be of genuine help to one another as the body of Christ should. (1st Cor. 12) Yet, we wonder why counter cultures emerge. If these descriptions of church sound familiar, you may want to check the dimension of your holiness.

The Visual PARABLEist

 

Land of the Lost

In Luke chapter 15, there is a trio of parables that all say essentially the same thing, revealing God's attitude of the lost. For Jesus to repeat this point three times over indicates that he wants to emphasize the vast importance of this teaching. A detail that somehow seems to be overlooked by many in the church, which seems to have been exaggerated by recent events. Since there seems to be much contempt for the lost. After a bit of prayer on the problem, this is what came to me.

Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. -Luke 15:7

In each of these parables of, the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son; there is a relationship between the lost and the one who suffered the loss. Keep in mind these examples where told to an agricultural society that had far stronger community ties than we have today. They knew very little of what happened outside their city. As opposed to today in the Information Age, where we know about every dramatic tragedy on the planet. (At least we think we do.) Yet we have no idea of what's going on across the street. While it's always happening in somebodies backyard, but much of this contempt we see is coming from people who are hundreds of miles away, expressing anger at faceless individuals. It's rather easy to be cold and indifferent of people where there is such a wide disconnect, and no real relationship. Is that a valid excuse though? Misguided as they may be, they are still God's children. That should be a source of grief for a disciple, not contempt.

Now consider the second son in the third parable. He is quick to show contempt for his brother, judging him for his past. Demanding that it should be all about him and not the prodigal, despite his repentance. Refusing to offer his brother any grace, and I dare say he would have preferred to see him punished for his wasteful actions. Is this not a dead on portrayal of the attitude of the lost right now? Is this not a call to be more Christ like to the lost?

Notice that the father in the parable of the lost son makes no attempt to stop his son from making the wrong choice. So unlike how overprotective earthly parents act. Yet, because the father handled it this way, the wasteful son couldn't point the finger at the father's lack of acceptance, so he had nobody to blame but himself for his situation. Not only that, since the father did not burn that emotional bridge by trying to control his son, the son felt free to come back once he realized the consequences of his own choices. However, has not the church universal burned that proverbial bridge when it comes to the lost by being so contemptuous of their choices? Someone even once told me that they felt like Christians live on the other side of a vast uncrossable cavern. Is this not a big part of the reason people are forsaking the church right now? Has the church only made these issues worse by being so judgmental? What would the Heavenly Father have to say about our attitude, and the harm it's done his church?

Lastly, are we putting our eternal lives at risk by forsaking God's lost sheep, and shutting the door to the kingdom in their faces?

But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’* is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. - Matthew 5:22

*An Aramaic term of contempt


“Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering.” -Luke 11:52

What do you really put your hope in?

He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. -John 12:25

This is a rather hard saying of Jesus. So hard that people often try to skirt around it, and say he didn't really mean what he said; without actually offering a valid explanation for their vague stance. However, I do think he meant exactly what he said, and recent events help bring this perplexing statement into focus.

Let me put it this way, our mortal lives keep us from being as close to the Heavenly Father as we could be in eternal life. Our mortal life is what ties us to this troubled world.

The American dream is ultimately about creating as pleasurable life as possible by the standard of this world. If 2020 has taught anything about this, it's how very fragile worldly hope truly is. As well just how many people feel that the American dream is out of reach. Watching mankind try to fix its own problems, has only revealed just how selfish, shortsighted, and wicked humanity can truly be. Let's face it, the people who love life the most always seem to be the most exploitative. Which is not exactly very Christ like.

Our mortal lives are but a drop in the ocean of eternity, don’t sacrifice your eternal life for the sake of a mere drip. 

In light of this let me ask a few questions. What makes you upset about what’s going on in this world? Is it really about right, wrong, or holiness? Or is it about creating or preserving your worldly comfort? An honest answer says a lot about where your heart is really at. Where do you truly put your hope, eternity, or this world? In the end, are you just as worldly in your own way as those who frustrate you, and violate your comfort?

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matthew 6:19-21

The Lord looks from heaven; He sees all the sons of men; From His dwelling place He looks out On all the inhabitants of the earth, He who fashions the hearts of them all, He who understands all their works. The king is not saved by a mighty army; A warrior is not delivered by great strength. A horse is a false hope for victory; Nor does it deliver anyone by its great strength. -Psalm 33:13-17

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. -Genesis 50:20
Trust that God will one day create a perfect world out of our failures.

Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. -Romans 1:24
Sometimes people need to suffer the consequences of their own actions before they can see them for what they are. Don’t stand in their way, or God’s for that matter.

Although a wicked person who commits a hundred crimes may live a long time, I know that it will go better with those who fear God, who are reverent before him.
-Ecclesiastes 8:12

If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you. -Isaiah 54:15