Wholeness: Understanding

In 1964, the song Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood was first recorded by Nina Simone. Since then it has been covered many times by many artists. Most notably by The Animals, and Elvis Costello. A testament to just how much we value being understood. Yet, the song itself acknowledges that they are part of their own problem since there is an incongruence between their actions and feelings. Are we as honest with ourselves as that? I dare say no since we often expect to be understood even when we don't understand ourselves, or able to put our feelings into words. Let alone put as much effort into understanding others as we expect others to do for us.

To delve further into the idea, it's a well-established phenomenon that when sad people listen to sad songs, they feel less sad. So obviously there is great solace in being understood. It's also not unheard-of for people to tell the latest rock star that their music saved them, even if that was never the musician’s intent. I'm sure the belief all comes back to feeling understood, which begs the question; Do we really equate being understood with salvation, or does it just make us feel less broken and alone? Or maybe it the closest many people ever get to salvation.

Either way, why is the church so quick to dismiss the feelings behind sinful behavior, even in ourselves? Right or wrong, these emotions have a big influence on our behavior and offer tremendous insight into our lack of wholeness. Without wholeness, we will never be able to become morally righteous. Until we seek to understand and deal with said feelings, we cannot achieve wholeness.

Yet, this dismal of the feelings of others makes them question the validity of our love. Where the dismissal of our own feelings may explain why we often don't understand ourselves. As well as why we are looking to others for the understanding we crave. Which is quite backward and unrealistic if you think about it. We should be seeking our creator, and savior if we struggle with this. 

This is just another prime example of how we are trying to skip ahead to the end result of holiness, without first going through the transformative process of wholeness, or guide others through the same process. When we address behavior only, yet ignore the root of the problem, it is like painting over rust, it may look good for a while, but it will bleed always through, eventually.

In our fiction, we often give the heroes depth, but our villains we like to paint as evil incarnate, with no hope for redemption. That's how we rationalize cheering for their destruction. We the church shouldn't view the lost in this way. We only sabotage our outreach efforts in doing so, since we will only judge them, not try to understand them. If we don't try to understand them, we can't really help them. As I've indicated already, there is great power in offering our understanding, specifically the power of empathy. A loving power the church should embrace, not deny. Since the loving action of understanding plays a vital part in leading people to wholeness, including ourselves.

“O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;” -Prayer of St. Francis

Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.” The angel of the Lord also said to her: “You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers. ” She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me, ” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” -Genesis 16:9-13

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